man...i'm so tired...

and there i thought i could get some sleep at the cruise, but nooo...but it was cool, i guess.

okay...so let me indulge in a little crazy-ass girl talk here...

latin american guys are hot...like, jalepeno-hot. and dancing salsa with a latin american fella puts you in such a dream-like state you'd wish the dance would never end. get this: the guy wasn't even cute! latin americans just have something about them...the way they move...the way they speak...it's just their freakin' vibes! so yeah...i wasn't bowled over by his "good looks", but man...when he spun me out and pulled me back...woah! his left hand was clasped with my right, and right arm circled my waist, guiding my steps. he wasn't coaching me, he was just my dance partner who can really salsa...haha. i'm thinking it's the strong arms bit that got me. and also that salsa (to me, at least) is even sexier than the tango.

i believe i'll be fleeting about with the feel of salsa in my feet for some time to come. i'm just waiting for the next pair of strong arms to salsa me into oblivion...haha. and hey, there's nothing dirty about the last sentence ;)

i sang with lobo. well, i sorta did. i was so volunteered by the people seated around me to sing the chorus of "stoney" while lobo and the band strummed the chords. yeah yeah...to say i sang with the guy is a little off, but what the hell...haha.

something else i wondered while watching the old geezer perform in front of hundreds of other old geezers...it must really be painful for him to be singing songs he wrote for his ex-wife and such for events like the showcase last night. i say this because there was a request session, and someone shouted out "Love Me For What I Am". he joked about hating this song since he got divorced and all...and did sing it...but it really must've been hard...to revisit his past whenever someone requests for that song. Then there was this other song he wrote for his 6th grade art teacher..."I Love You To Want Me", i think. now that was cute. imagine 6th-grader thinking all those thoughts in the lyrics of the song!

one of my favorite songs of the night was the everly brothers hit "Let It Be Me". i wish i'd be able to duet the song with someone in the near future. i really do love that song.

so this trip has been kinda cool, but it's also made me think a lot about what i'm meant to do...be in...whatever.

in recent weeks, i seem to be gravitating towards the limelight. all the signs around me seem to point towards the direction of "stardom". am i really meant to shine that brightly?

at some points of my life, i would wonder if i was meant to just help people, given all the experiences i've been through.

then it dawned on me. both are not mutually exclusive. i've been avoiding what people have always said i should do because i'm afraid i might digress from my goal...the ultimate dream.

so now i realize that...it really may be my calling. perhaps i shouldn't shun the bright lights now, or maybe, just give it a shot. after all, if i ever attain some sorta "stardom", wouldn't it be easier for me to reach my ultimate then?

i really wish i didn't have to reject acting with brendon fernandez. i love the guy...it'd definitely would be an honor, and a great learning experience to learn from such a young and established actor.

why did i have to reject the offer?

because filming is taking place tomorrow and tuesday afternoons. dang.