"i drove 40 minutes from my parents' anniversary dinner, which i organized, beat rush hour traffic, ran through a crowded airport and now i'm here." - girl

"why?" - boy

"because i think you're someone i can dance with." - girl

"what about richard?" - boy

"he always stepped on my toes." - girl

beautiful huh?

the past week has been crazy. the weekend? even crazier.

but it's odd that despite how busy i've been, i always had the time to beat myself up (don't worry, i don't mean literally).

over three days, i've signed autographs, spoken to dozens of people, smiled for hours at a go. it sorta reminds me of the time i was at SIA. and even though i had last afternoon, this afternoon, and will have tomorrow off (mostly), i still feel exhausted. i had both afternoons to have a rest, but i simply couldn't sleep. i simply stoned my way through to the evenings. talk about feeling unproductive. but i simply couldn't help it.

i'm glad i got my book back from ray. the book is my life...it's probably the one thing that's got the most important bits of my past in it. reading it again's gonna make my cry loads. but that's what i gotta do tonight. i missed my book.

and i got back my CNH sweatshirt as well! rock on!!!

4 days to the singapore idol auditions.

4 days to the scouts weekend camp.

4 days to realizing what matters most.

and...

4 days to crying over losing one of them.

my body's an empty vessel. my soul's floating alongside it...just waiting for it to screw up.

i've been alone all this while. nothing's changed on that front.

what has...is that i've gained and lost emotional dependence in 3 months.

a grouch has gotta be proud of that.