i have a performance tonight.
and here i am, sitting by my dining table, bawling my eyes out for something i swore i would wash my hands off.
this is about the only thing that's pissing me off these days. even shit from school does not match up to this.
i'm so fucking angry that i can't even find the words to describe the situation.
I WILL NOT BE MADE TO FEEL LIKE I SHOULD DO THIS, OR THAT, JUST BECAUSE I SHOULD.
WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE?
i've lost all my respect for them. ALL OF IT.
so fucking insular. contradictory. self-centered.
maybe i'm just not the marrying kind. in that much i myself am self-centered.
fucking nonsense.
gibberish for a fucked up mind.
i have no excuse to run away now though.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
"if she came with us, she would be the one winning the votes."
"are you sure you can't cancel your trip to come with us?"
"are you sure you don't want to come with us?"
i was confronted by the people i want to tunisia with three years ago. tonight.
apparently, because i couldn't join the bidding team as presenter this year, they had to relinquish the presentation part of the bid to a non-scout, as requested by the STB.
they were pissed at the thought, and were trying to guilt-trip me.
all this, while only asking if i was available to go to korea with them just two weeks back.
my aunt and i had already indicated our interest after our first stellar bid in tunisia, but since no one approached us, we figured that they got together a new hit of a team.
but after tonight's viewing of the final rehearsal, i can't help but say "these guys don't learn, do they?"
they had a lot more time to prepare for this bid, compared to the last one. but in spite of the seemingly young and skeletal team we put together in 2005, we showed the world scout community our goods.
you can revisit my blog on these events here. and the gwizzly photoblog here.
in short, we were THE BOMB.
the japanese, the australians, and even the swedes knew it.
it was the first time our small country ran a bid for the world scout jamboree, but we ran a close one with the swedes, and lost just by a slight margin.
anyhow...i wish them luck in korea.
and if they don't win this time, they really ought to get out of their musky boxes and get the people who really know how to get the show running to do it.
and they should stop guilt-tripping me. =(
Friday, May 30, 2008
on clergy sexual abuse
the hubby and i have recently moved our gramaphone movie rental subscription to the parkway outlet, and we have since watched the oprah anniversary dvd set and a documentary called "deliver us from evil".
this is one directed by amy berg, and is a collection of interviews with the priest that blew the scandal open - oliver o'grady - some of his victims and their lawyers. it seemed that they tried to get a response from the US catholic church and the vatican, but they did not respond to the producers' requests.
so they had to use archived deposition footage during oliver o'grady's trials.
i work the morning shift this week (we take turns to start work at about 6am), so you can imagine how tired i am at 10pm.
but that was the time we started watching this show, and it held my attention for the full two hours (or slightly less).
if you're expecting drama and guns, you'd be bored stiff. again, it's just a collection of interviews, not unlike michael moore films.
the difference between amy berg and michael moore is the classification of their work, the former's being a documentary, and the latter's being a movie. i'm not sure if that really makes it more "credible", but what we saw in the show did seem like the director tried to get views from both sides.
in essence, o'grady started sexually abusing kids in the early 70s. and everytime a complaint was filed with the bishop, he would just move o'grady to another parish further away.
when a case finally went to the courts, the church cut a deal - which includes him being financially cared for, for the rest of his life - with o'grady. as long as he refused to testify.
it was really interesting to see o'grady being so candid in his comments. it made him more human, and the catholic church more distant.
the bit that got me really upset was when the father of one of o'grady's female victims started crying and blaming himself for not being able to stop the abuse.
he has not been able to step into a church since.
again, this documentary may just be another michael moore-type thing.
but where there's smoke, there's fire.
this is definitely worth a watch. even for catholics.
this is one directed by amy berg, and is a collection of interviews with the priest that blew the scandal open - oliver o'grady - some of his victims and their lawyers. it seemed that they tried to get a response from the US catholic church and the vatican, but they did not respond to the producers' requests.so they had to use archived deposition footage during oliver o'grady's trials.
i work the morning shift this week (we take turns to start work at about 6am), so you can imagine how tired i am at 10pm.
but that was the time we started watching this show, and it held my attention for the full two hours (or slightly less).
if you're expecting drama and guns, you'd be bored stiff. again, it's just a collection of interviews, not unlike michael moore films.
the difference between amy berg and michael moore is the classification of their work, the former's being a documentary, and the latter's being a movie. i'm not sure if that really makes it more "credible", but what we saw in the show did seem like the director tried to get views from both sides.
in essence, o'grady started sexually abusing kids in the early 70s. and everytime a complaint was filed with the bishop, he would just move o'grady to another parish further away.
when a case finally went to the courts, the church cut a deal - which includes him being financially cared for, for the rest of his life - with o'grady. as long as he refused to testify.
it was really interesting to see o'grady being so candid in his comments. it made him more human, and the catholic church more distant.
the bit that got me really upset was when the father of one of o'grady's female victims started crying and blaming himself for not being able to stop the abuse.
he has not been able to step into a church since.
again, this documentary may just be another michael moore-type thing.
but where there's smoke, there's fire.
this is definitely worth a watch. even for catholics.
Monday, May 19, 2008
vesak day weekend...
our weekends always seem extremely fun, and most times, it's our spontaneity that gets us going.
yesterday was spent at mom's baking cupcakes and playing mahjong.
here're my bees waiting to take off...*buzz buzz*...
today, the investor central gang spent the day at belinda's house in the west. we barbequed, ate a whole lot, and played a fun round of taboo. =P
as we barbequed, we discovered a toad resting peacefully behind belinda's ice box in the garden...
then there were the oh-so-cute children. =)
the butter choc-chip cupcakes, salad and kueh salat were hits. and verdayne did a really tasty flourless chocolate cake. all round goodness.
i'm glad snuffy hubby enjoyed the day as much as i did.
we love being able to do things like these with our friends, and are really glad when people tell us how good we are for each other.
especially when belinda told snuffy hubby and i that we both married "champions", and that we were made for each other. =)
yesterday was spent at mom's baking cupcakes and playing mahjong.
here're my bees waiting to take off...*buzz buzz*...
today, the investor central gang spent the day at belinda's house in the west. we barbequed, ate a whole lot, and played a fun round of taboo. =Pas we barbequed, we discovered a toad resting peacefully behind belinda's ice box in the garden...
then there were the oh-so-cute children. =)the butter choc-chip cupcakes, salad and kueh salat were hits. and verdayne did a really tasty flourless chocolate cake. all round goodness.
i'm glad snuffy hubby enjoyed the day as much as i did.we love being able to do things like these with our friends, and are really glad when people tell us how good we are for each other.
especially when belinda told snuffy hubby and i that we both married "champions", and that we were made for each other. =)
Sunday, May 18, 2008
more hunting...
dog hunting is pretty much like house hunting.
especially if you dog hunt like snuffy hubby and i - driving all around the island to people's homes, looking at their litter.
the hubby and i believe in home breeders, because most of them do not overbreed, nor inbreed, their dogs, and believe in finding the puppies good and responsible owners.
i won't go into the details on the homes we visited yesterday because snuffy hubby's already done so. though i can be slightly more reflective. =)
given snuffy hubby's easy-going nature and spontaneity (most times), he would be more of a golden/labrador retriever person. if you can picture a goldie or a labrador, you can almost see "LOVE ME! LOVE ME!" in their eyes as they bound toward you. they are also very affectionate and will probably seek attention from owners...and you probably can't help but just love them. that's very eric.
i've always seen myself as more of a husky, given my independent streak. the husky is strong, has a mind of its own and may not be as well-liked as a golden retriever purely because of how it looks, and how it behaves. it probably isn't the sort of pet that everyone would like because it may not be as affectionate as the widely-popular goldie.
i was slightly disappointed at the huskies i saw yesterday. not that they weren't any good, but perhaps they were too good.
the show dog owner spoke of his dogs with such passion, but he also said things like "if you put my dogs in a show next to other normal singapore huskies, they can't even compare to mine." it made me feel quite sad.
i want a husky, but as much as i want good lineage to ensure good genes and i can then carry on the breed, i don't want to be so particular that i start treating my dog as a tool, and not a companion i want to shower my affection on.
i'm all the for the underdog. and as long as i get a husky with good lineage (not from just any dad and mom), i believe we can train SCOUT to be a good pet/possible future show dog. even though potential is genetic, dogs can also exceed our expectations at times, just like humans.
snuffy hubby has left the decision of the breed of our dog to me.
and i have to say that the more i read about huskies, the more i'm sure that our first dog together will be a husky.
though at the back of my head, i know he will have loads of fun with a goldie. because eric is like a goldie - unconditionally affectionate and giving.
especially if you dog hunt like snuffy hubby and i - driving all around the island to people's homes, looking at their litter.
the hubby and i believe in home breeders, because most of them do not overbreed, nor inbreed, their dogs, and believe in finding the puppies good and responsible owners.
i won't go into the details on the homes we visited yesterday because snuffy hubby's already done so. though i can be slightly more reflective. =)
given snuffy hubby's easy-going nature and spontaneity (most times), he would be more of a golden/labrador retriever person. if you can picture a goldie or a labrador, you can almost see "LOVE ME! LOVE ME!" in their eyes as they bound toward you. they are also very affectionate and will probably seek attention from owners...and you probably can't help but just love them. that's very eric.
i've always seen myself as more of a husky, given my independent streak. the husky is strong, has a mind of its own and may not be as well-liked as a golden retriever purely because of how it looks, and how it behaves. it probably isn't the sort of pet that everyone would like because it may not be as affectionate as the widely-popular goldie.
i was slightly disappointed at the huskies i saw yesterday. not that they weren't any good, but perhaps they were too good.
the show dog owner spoke of his dogs with such passion, but he also said things like "if you put my dogs in a show next to other normal singapore huskies, they can't even compare to mine." it made me feel quite sad.
i want a husky, but as much as i want good lineage to ensure good genes and i can then carry on the breed, i don't want to be so particular that i start treating my dog as a tool, and not a companion i want to shower my affection on.
i'm all the for the underdog. and as long as i get a husky with good lineage (not from just any dad and mom), i believe we can train SCOUT to be a good pet/possible future show dog. even though potential is genetic, dogs can also exceed our expectations at times, just like humans.
snuffy hubby has left the decision of the breed of our dog to me.
and i have to say that the more i read about huskies, the more i'm sure that our first dog together will be a husky.
though at the back of my head, i know he will have loads of fun with a goldie. because eric is like a goldie - unconditionally affectionate and giving.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
it's been a long time...
i'm not quite sure when the last time i felt this pissed was.
it must have been some time ago because the last time i swore this hard and felt so angry was when i was with you-know-who.
when i met eric, my personality evolved somewhat, for the better.
upon reflection though, recent events have had me reversing backwards to my angsty self.
and it's precisely because i CAN'T STAND watching my husband being treated like crap.
we've only had the joy of the house purchase for over a week, and this nonsense happens.
ABSOLUTE NONSENSE.
BLOODY HELL DYSFUNCTIONAL.
i really cannot watch my husband get subjected to such ridiculous situations anymore.
because i WILL bitch-slap the hell out of any idiot who bullies eric.
i got especially upset when a colleague pointed out that i seem a lot more angry these days, than when she first met me.
i am not upset at her.
i am pissed at how i'm back to dealing with people like my psychotic ex.
i really need a break. f***ing hell.
it must have been some time ago because the last time i swore this hard and felt so angry was when i was with you-know-who.
when i met eric, my personality evolved somewhat, for the better.
upon reflection though, recent events have had me reversing backwards to my angsty self.
and it's precisely because i CAN'T STAND watching my husband being treated like crap.
we've only had the joy of the house purchase for over a week, and this nonsense happens.
ABSOLUTE NONSENSE.
BLOODY HELL DYSFUNCTIONAL.
i really cannot watch my husband get subjected to such ridiculous situations anymore.
because i WILL bitch-slap the hell out of any idiot who bullies eric.
i got especially upset when a colleague pointed out that i seem a lot more angry these days, than when she first met me.
i am not upset at her.
i am pissed at how i'm back to dealing with people like my psychotic ex.
i really need a break. f***ing hell.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
a milestone in our lives...
as eric mentioned in his last post, the last weekend was special.
we made a decision that had our hearts racing for a good few hours, before celebrating the decision with a good dinner with the family.
and for those of you who've seen our msn tags, and wondered what the numbers mean...
well, perhaps this would be a clue:
these are pictures of a condo unit at The Madeira.
and as of august this year, we would be the proud owners of this place!
without whatever else is in these pictures, of course. =P
it's a development of three blocks near the bukit gombak mrt station.
the saying "if it's yours, it's yours" couldn't have described this purchase better.
everything that happened over the past week had sorta led to the hubby and i seeing this place and falling in love with it, pretty much at first sight.
we're extremely excited, but it also means we may need to save a little for the time we need the cash to pay for this big purchase.
we're happy still. very much so. =)
it's now snuffy hubby's turn. =P
we made a decision that had our hearts racing for a good few hours, before celebrating the decision with a good dinner with the family.
and for those of you who've seen our msn tags, and wondered what the numbers mean...
well, perhaps this would be a clue:
these are pictures of a condo unit at The Madeira.
and as of august this year, we would be the proud owners of this place!
without whatever else is in these pictures, of course. =P
it's a development of three blocks near the bukit gombak mrt station.
the saying "if it's yours, it's yours" couldn't have described this purchase better.
everything that happened over the past week had sorta led to the hubby and i seeing this place and falling in love with it, pretty much at first sight.
we're extremely excited, but it also means we may need to save a little for the time we need the cash to pay for this big purchase.
we're happy still. very much so. =)
it's now snuffy hubby's turn. =P
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