Monday, October 31, 2005
i've fallen. =)
it was s'wonderful, s'marvellous.
except for the part where the arms let out from under me and i smashed facedown onto the cold, marble floor.
from the way things have been going, tears seem to be uncontrollable.
i think i'll just have to let them run its course.
not sure if i can bring myself to dance, even though it's been the only constant in my life.
the pure and simple love for dance has led to such intensity...
just last week, i told waihwang...
"i miss dancing."
he responds...
"and i'm sure the dancefloor misses you as well."
hmm.
i need time to mend my heart before i present myself as serene again.
so i'll see you on the dancefloor...in time.
a friend of mine seems to be going through some shit as well.
boon: for your sake, i hope you're doing better than me in this department.
i don't know how similar our situations are, but you know you've got a friend in me.
and whenever someone breaks your heart, i'll be there to lend you my shoulder.
i, in turn, will try my hardest not to push anyone away.
but if you know me...and you know the stuff that i'm made of, then you know that i'm made of more than nerves, heart and neck.
ahora, yo no tengo un corazon.
pero...
it was s'wonderful, s'marvellous.
except for the part where the arms let out from under me and i smashed facedown onto the cold, marble floor.
from the way things have been going, tears seem to be uncontrollable.
i think i'll just have to let them run its course.
not sure if i can bring myself to dance, even though it's been the only constant in my life.
the pure and simple love for dance has led to such intensity...
just last week, i told waihwang...
"i miss dancing."
he responds...
"and i'm sure the dancefloor misses you as well."
hmm.
i need time to mend my heart before i present myself as serene again.
so i'll see you on the dancefloor...in time.
a friend of mine seems to be going through some shit as well.
boon: for your sake, i hope you're doing better than me in this department.
i don't know how similar our situations are, but you know you've got a friend in me.
and whenever someone breaks your heart, i'll be there to lend you my shoulder.
i, in turn, will try my hardest not to push anyone away.
but if you know me...and you know the stuff that i'm made of, then you know that i'm made of more than nerves, heart and neck.
ahora, yo no tengo un corazon.
pero...
"YOU'RE A TREASURE"
said a friend from last night.
home, home, home
i want to go home.
home is friendly, home is warm
home is shelter from the storm
home is mother holding me
home is where i want to be.
the concept of home has been lost.
i am lost.
but i will find my own way out, thank you very much.
that's enough.
no more moping and letting people fuck around with your mind.
fuck it, serene.
fuck it.
said a friend from last night.
home, home, home
i want to go home.
home is friendly, home is warm
home is shelter from the storm
home is mother holding me
home is where i want to be.
the concept of home has been lost.
i am lost.
but i will find my own way out, thank you very much.
that's enough.
no more moping and letting people fuck around with your mind.
fuck it, serene.
fuck it.
pain pain pain.
little superhero girl has no words.
BUT...
you can all sleep sound tonight,
for i'm not crazy, or anything.
- superman.
if you're want to go out with me now because you want to give her the space to sort out her feelings before you attempt something with her as well...
...then i can't do it.
little superhero girl has no words.
BUT...
you can all sleep sound tonight,
for i'm not crazy, or anything.
- superman.
if you're want to go out with me now because you want to give her the space to sort out her feelings before you attempt something with her as well...
...then i can't do it.
TENGO CORAZON
what were the chances that i'll be at brix today?
what were the odds the live band would play a bachata?
how the hell would anyone expect they'd play "tengo corazon"?
the moment they did though, i looked around me...and found no one.
i walked towards arthur and asked if he could dance it with me.
and while we were just swaying to it...i cried.
right there and then, i cried.
i closed my eyes.
when it ended, arthur thanked me for one of the best bachatas he's ever danced.
and i realized that the best bachatas i've ever danced were those when i was feeling vulnerable and sad.
i'd just shut my eyes, lean on the lead's shoulder and let him lead me.
so thank you, guys, for getting me off my ass and onto the dancefloor today.
thank you wayne, sebastian, for holding me tight during our bachatas.
it seemed like you knew i was going to fall.
but it just became all the more painful because of "chan chan" and "tengo corazon".
it happened again...the crying by the pool.
it's time to come back down to earth now, serene.
what were the chances that i'll be at brix today?
what were the odds the live band would play a bachata?
how the hell would anyone expect they'd play "tengo corazon"?
the moment they did though, i looked around me...and found no one.
i walked towards arthur and asked if he could dance it with me.
and while we were just swaying to it...i cried.
right there and then, i cried.
i closed my eyes.
when it ended, arthur thanked me for one of the best bachatas he's ever danced.
and i realized that the best bachatas i've ever danced were those when i was feeling vulnerable and sad.
i'd just shut my eyes, lean on the lead's shoulder and let him lead me.
so thank you, guys, for getting me off my ass and onto the dancefloor today.
thank you wayne, sebastian, for holding me tight during our bachatas.
it seemed like you knew i was going to fall.
but it just became all the more painful because of "chan chan" and "tengo corazon".
it happened again...the crying by the pool.
it's time to come back down to earth now, serene.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
all signs seem to be pointing in one direction.
i want but i can't have.
everything i really want, i can't have.
i think i need it, but i have to convert it to a want so it doesn't become more painful to lose.
so yes, i don't suppose i need it.
and i agree. if it's meant to be, then it will be.
but for now i want the experience with you.
i want it.
i won't die without it, but why can't i have what i want this time?
just this one time?
perhaps it's because i always get what i want...
and because the head gets what it wants done, the heart fails.
horribly.
painfully.
lonely.
should the head take over now?
tell me.
you, who's reading.
TELL ME.
i want but i can't have.
everything i really want, i can't have.
i think i need it, but i have to convert it to a want so it doesn't become more painful to lose.
so yes, i don't suppose i need it.
and i agree. if it's meant to be, then it will be.
but for now i want the experience with you.
i want it.
i won't die without it, but why can't i have what i want this time?
just this one time?
perhaps it's because i always get what i want...
and because the head gets what it wants done, the heart fails.
horribly.
painfully.
lonely.
should the head take over now?
tell me.
you, who's reading.
TELL ME.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
thank you andreas, for having shared this song with me.
i remember sharing this with someone almost instantaneously, and from that day on, had this verse sung to me...
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
james blunt had a tinge of sadness to his voice, and his music video wasn't exactly vague.
but the one time someone caught my heart with this song, was when i walked into this restaurant with waihwang.
the lone guy with his guitar was singing with such angst that it felt real.
i told waihwang that it was a fantastic song. and that the guy's a good singer.
that was the first real time the song set in.
last night...
through the jokes of horrible choices of wedding songs...(they actually played UNBREAK MY HEART at one point during the dinner!) i managed to capture the whole of my favorite "breakfast at tiffany's" song - moon river.
the moment andy williams voice came on, it seemed to rise beyond the crowd's incessant chatter.
i sat back and spaced out for a while, letting the lyrics sink in...
moon river, wider than a mile
i'm crossing you in style, someday
oh dream-maker, you heartbreaker
wherever you're going, i'm going your way
two drifters, off to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see
we're after the same rainbow's end
waiting round the bend
my huckleberry friend
moon river, and me.
the moment it ended, and i stumbled back into reality, i took out my cell, and smsed DP that i want to sing this song at his wedding.
i felt with the song.
there were many occasions i had sat by my window and stared out at the river, watching the moonbeams bounce off its surface.
and i would softly sing the song to myself.
it calmed me, but it also made me wish i had him to hold me as i was sitting there.
it's time to come back down to earth, and not have my head stuck in romantic cloud number 9.
it's time to sit at my own little corner again, and sing the song.
tengo corazon
the moment the couple walked into the room the second time, one song came into my mind.
TENGO CORAZON.
i don't know why, but it did.
i told ashley this was the song i would use.
when han lim and i went into union last night, i felt like the belle of the ball.
people i didn't know came up to tell me i looked "gorgeous".
maybe there was more than wayne who noticed that i lost some mass, but they weren't saying it.
sebastian even said "you must've stole the show at the wedding".
how easy it is to mask pain in the presence of others who are always ready with smiles, compliments, kisses and hugs.
how difficult it is to hold that heightened state of wellbeing through the evening.
estoy muy cansada, y muy triste...
pero estoy muy alegre, tambien.
porque...
...te quiero.
thank you andreas, for having shared this song with me.
i remember sharing this with someone almost instantaneously, and from that day on, had this verse sung to me...
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
james blunt had a tinge of sadness to his voice, and his music video wasn't exactly vague.
but the one time someone caught my heart with this song, was when i walked into this restaurant with waihwang.
the lone guy with his guitar was singing with such angst that it felt real.
i told waihwang that it was a fantastic song. and that the guy's a good singer.
that was the first real time the song set in.
last night...
through the jokes of horrible choices of wedding songs...(they actually played UNBREAK MY HEART at one point during the dinner!) i managed to capture the whole of my favorite "breakfast at tiffany's" song - moon river.
the moment andy williams voice came on, it seemed to rise beyond the crowd's incessant chatter.
i sat back and spaced out for a while, letting the lyrics sink in...
moon river, wider than a mile
i'm crossing you in style, someday
oh dream-maker, you heartbreaker
wherever you're going, i'm going your way
two drifters, off to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see
we're after the same rainbow's end
waiting round the bend
my huckleberry friend
moon river, and me.
the moment it ended, and i stumbled back into reality, i took out my cell, and smsed DP that i want to sing this song at his wedding.
i felt with the song.
there were many occasions i had sat by my window and stared out at the river, watching the moonbeams bounce off its surface.
and i would softly sing the song to myself.
it calmed me, but it also made me wish i had him to hold me as i was sitting there.
it's time to come back down to earth, and not have my head stuck in romantic cloud number 9.
it's time to sit at my own little corner again, and sing the song.
tengo corazon
the moment the couple walked into the room the second time, one song came into my mind.
TENGO CORAZON.
i don't know why, but it did.
i told ashley this was the song i would use.
when han lim and i went into union last night, i felt like the belle of the ball.
people i didn't know came up to tell me i looked "gorgeous".
maybe there was more than wayne who noticed that i lost some mass, but they weren't saying it.
sebastian even said "you must've stole the show at the wedding".
how easy it is to mask pain in the presence of others who are always ready with smiles, compliments, kisses and hugs.
how difficult it is to hold that heightened state of wellbeing through the evening.
estoy muy cansada, y muy triste...
pero estoy muy alegre, tambien.
porque...
...te quiero.
MOON RIVER
the pool drew me in like a whirl.
so as i was walking back to my apartment just about an hour back, i was drawn to a particular area, just by the edge of the pool.
i sat down, breathed in, and it all just started from there.
it wasn't that spot.
it was the whole pool area...
the late-night dances.
i stood up, walked around the area and wept.
until i couldn't breathe no more.
then i sat down at that spot again.
and i stood up, walked to the lift, and headed home.
the pain is becoming increasingly unbearable.
it's day six now.
the pool drew me in like a whirl.
so as i was walking back to my apartment just about an hour back, i was drawn to a particular area, just by the edge of the pool.
i sat down, breathed in, and it all just started from there.
it wasn't that spot.
it was the whole pool area...
the late-night dances.
i stood up, walked around the area and wept.
until i couldn't breathe no more.
then i sat down at that spot again.
and i stood up, walked to the lift, and headed home.
the pain is becoming increasingly unbearable.
it's day six now.
Friday, October 28, 2005
BABY IT'S YOU
...i've been waiting for all of my life.
- Tootsie.
i managed to spend an hour and a half with him yesterday before we got interrupted.
it was wonderful.
i laid in his embrace...and breathed in his scent.
and right before we parted, i turned around and whispered into the darkness...
"good night baby."
for the first time.
i'm in love. =)
...i've been waiting for all of my life.
- Tootsie.
i managed to spend an hour and a half with him yesterday before we got interrupted.
it was wonderful.
i laid in his embrace...and breathed in his scent.
and right before we parted, i turned around and whispered into the darkness...
"good night baby."
for the first time.
i'm in love. =)
THE DAY THE BELL WENT OFF
emotional vulnerability aside, today was really one of the most dramatic days of my young life...=P
i headed down to the studio at past six and sung my heart out before everyone else came in.
we had a briefing, then our class, then as the class ended and we were about to start a rueda...the fire alarm went off.
uhhuh, it went off all right.
no one touched it, no one broke anything. it just went off...we speculate that the thunderstorm had somehow triggered it.
so we all ran around like headless chickens, trying to call all the numbers on the CISCO box, the locksmith, our friends who were firemen and whoever we knew lah.
i couldn't get thomas, nor his younger sis. the only person who picked up was his youngest sister.
"amy, i can't get your brother, or your sister, the fire alarm just went off, how do i shut it off?" said i.
she said, "you can't get my brother, or my sister, the fire alarm just went off and how do i shut it off?"
i said, "yes, how do you shut it off?"
she said "how did it go off?"
"i don't know! and that's not the point! how do you shut it off?" said an exasperated i.
"did you try to get my brother?" she said.
(i shall halt the conversation log here before you get as iffy as i got...)
after almost 20 minutes of running around and trying to make sense of thomas' smses, we got the alarm to shut up...withouth the locksmith stepping in. phew.
so dear reader, you think the drama is over, don't you?
but no...
as we all left and i was to lock up, the bloody unit door wouldn't lock. and i didn't have the key at for the lock at the bottom, so well...that sucked.
so the few of us went around looking for a cab, but all the cabs were "on call". so we decided to walk to amara to try to get one.
of course, them, being the salsa goons they are, decided to coerce me into going to union.
and so i head into the amara hotel toilet...and realized (GASP!) that i had a major female emergency.
i walked out in an awkward stance and told simon and crystal that i "had an emergency."
well, simon got it after i repeated it a second time.
so i joined the cab queue outside the hotel. 10 mins later, the queue still hasn't moved.
cab companies were engaged, even radio taxi was stalling.
so i got desperate and smsed my roomie...
me: hey girl, are you still out?
jac: home, crazy weather. where are you?
me: stuck at amara, having a female emergency, long cab queue, cab companies engaged. =(
jac: you wait i come and get you.
me: thanks! and uh...please bring newspaper or a plastic bag...
so once again, it's roomie j to the rescue.
i swear i would've broken down in the cab queue because i felt so miserable.
thanks to jac though, i got through that bit of the night without tears.
so thomas calls me after i get home and he says he was at a stand-up comedy club when the fire alarm fiasco went off.
the moment he described a certain "red box" to me over the phone, the whole club went silent.
apparently, the crowd was staring at him, and heard him say "the red box" rather loudly.
so he opted to sms me instead.
what an adventurous day for caliente-ites.
i think the adventure is enough to last me for a week. =P
emotional vulnerability aside, today was really one of the most dramatic days of my young life...=P
i headed down to the studio at past six and sung my heart out before everyone else came in.
we had a briefing, then our class, then as the class ended and we were about to start a rueda...the fire alarm went off.
uhhuh, it went off all right.
no one touched it, no one broke anything. it just went off...we speculate that the thunderstorm had somehow triggered it.
so we all ran around like headless chickens, trying to call all the numbers on the CISCO box, the locksmith, our friends who were firemen and whoever we knew lah.
i couldn't get thomas, nor his younger sis. the only person who picked up was his youngest sister.
"amy, i can't get your brother, or your sister, the fire alarm just went off, how do i shut it off?" said i.
she said, "you can't get my brother, or my sister, the fire alarm just went off and how do i shut it off?"
i said, "yes, how do you shut it off?"
she said "how did it go off?"
"i don't know! and that's not the point! how do you shut it off?" said an exasperated i.
"did you try to get my brother?" she said.
(i shall halt the conversation log here before you get as iffy as i got...)
after almost 20 minutes of running around and trying to make sense of thomas' smses, we got the alarm to shut up...withouth the locksmith stepping in. phew.
so dear reader, you think the drama is over, don't you?
but no...
as we all left and i was to lock up, the bloody unit door wouldn't lock. and i didn't have the key at for the lock at the bottom, so well...that sucked.
so the few of us went around looking for a cab, but all the cabs were "on call". so we decided to walk to amara to try to get one.
of course, them, being the salsa goons they are, decided to coerce me into going to union.
and so i head into the amara hotel toilet...and realized (GASP!) that i had a major female emergency.
i walked out in an awkward stance and told simon and crystal that i "had an emergency."
well, simon got it after i repeated it a second time.
so i joined the cab queue outside the hotel. 10 mins later, the queue still hasn't moved.
cab companies were engaged, even radio taxi was stalling.
so i got desperate and smsed my roomie...
me: hey girl, are you still out?
jac: home, crazy weather. where are you?
me: stuck at amara, having a female emergency, long cab queue, cab companies engaged. =(
jac: you wait i come and get you.
me: thanks! and uh...please bring newspaper or a plastic bag...
so once again, it's roomie j to the rescue.
i swear i would've broken down in the cab queue because i felt so miserable.
thanks to jac though, i got through that bit of the night without tears.
so thomas calls me after i get home and he says he was at a stand-up comedy club when the fire alarm fiasco went off.
the moment he described a certain "red box" to me over the phone, the whole club went silent.
apparently, the crowd was staring at him, and heard him say "the red box" rather loudly.
so he opted to sms me instead.
what an adventurous day for caliente-ites.
i think the adventure is enough to last me for a week. =P
Thursday, October 27, 2005
me: for a moment today, i felt like dancing tonight...
cole: ah..things are improving
me: yeah...because i feel like i need to reconnect with my passion again. don't wanna get too caught up in business matters. and i know for a fact that when i'm dancing, i feel exhilarated.
cole: yeah..
me: oh my gosh...coleman...i just fell in love again =) the memories of dancing...perked me right up...made me smile
cole: =)
cole: ah..things are improving
me: yeah...because i feel like i need to reconnect with my passion again. don't wanna get too caught up in business matters. and i know for a fact that when i'm dancing, i feel exhilarated.
cole: yeah..
me: oh my gosh...coleman...i just fell in love again =) the memories of dancing...perked me right up...made me smile
cole: =)
ONLY HOPE
There's a song that's inside of my soul...
he told me to write a song out of my pain.
all i want to do now is to lie in my studio, breathe in the spice of the flooring and take it all in.
i want to stay grounded in my studio.
i want to stay grounded to my passion.
i will sing my heart out today.
and i will survive this.
because i've already survived the biggest break-up a year back..this is chicken feed.
I AM ALIVE.
There's a song that's inside of my soul...
he told me to write a song out of my pain.
all i want to do now is to lie in my studio, breathe in the spice of the flooring and take it all in.
i want to stay grounded in my studio.
i want to stay grounded to my passion.
i will sing my heart out today.
and i will survive this.
because i've already survived the biggest break-up a year back..this is chicken feed.
I AM ALIVE.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
JUST ONE
the flowers you gave me, i kept by my window
the picture you gave me, i kept by my bed
they used to have such magical powers
they used to make up that piece in my head
i'd start the morning by gazing at those flowers
i'd smile at the picture before leaving the house
they gave me such strength to carry on the day
they gave me such love that i wouldn't stray
BUT...
the flowers have withered
the picture has faded
they no longer hold the love that you had
they're merely momentos of painful occasions
now stained with tears, blood and unreciprocated love.
find me a flower that would take this pain away
find me a picture i can look at and say
"someone i love gave me this and he loves me right back."
it may seem easy-peasy for someone like me
to find another flower, another picture, another kiss
but i'd trade whatever i had for this...
...one flower that's withered, one picture that's faded.
god only knows.
the flowers you gave me, i kept by my window
the picture you gave me, i kept by my bed
they used to have such magical powers
they used to make up that piece in my head
i'd start the morning by gazing at those flowers
i'd smile at the picture before leaving the house
they gave me such strength to carry on the day
they gave me such love that i wouldn't stray
BUT...
the flowers have withered
the picture has faded
they no longer hold the love that you had
they're merely momentos of painful occasions
now stained with tears, blood and unreciprocated love.
find me a flower that would take this pain away
find me a picture i can look at and say
"someone i love gave me this and he loves me right back."
it may seem easy-peasy for someone like me
to find another flower, another picture, another kiss
but i'd trade whatever i had for this...
...one flower that's withered, one picture that's faded.
god only knows.
SERENE'S CHOICE
?little superhero girl says: (10:55:05 AM)
and waihwang...i woke up this morning feeling very heavy, but once i yanked myself outta bed...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:17 AM)
i saw the clock move...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:23 AM)
everything else around me was still running...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:28 AM)
life goes on =)
little superhero girl says: (10:55:45 AM)
i know where i stand in this, where i should stand in this
skating_panda says: (10:56:04 AM)
u made up your mind?
little superhero girl says: (10:56:11 AM)
just this morning, rather
little superhero girl says: (10:56:28 AM)
i'm a friend, a semi-employer...
skating_panda says: (10:56:33 AM)
ok. That should make things easier for u
little superhero girl says: (10:56:41 AM)
the studio is MY BABY...
little superhero girl says: (10:56:55 AM)
and i have the best team (to my knowledge)
little superhero girl says: (10:57:51 AM)
so i want to preserve my team.
skating_panda says: (10:58:17 AM)
tat's a pretty big sacrifice u know?
little superhero girl says: (10:58:34 AM)
my top priority is the school...
little superhero girl says: (10:58:37 AM)
other matters can wait
little superhero girl says: (10:58:46 AM)
and frankly, i don't know why my head let my heart take over for a while
little superhero girl says: (10:58:56 AM)
wrong timing...haha
little superhero girl says: (10:59:19 AM)
remember waihwang...i have never quite known friends until i joined salsa...
little superhero girl says: (10:59:40 AM)
so i treasure the bond we share...and do not wish to spoil it with relationship issues
skating_panda says: (11:01:07 AM)
hmm... I know it feels like
little superhero girl says: (11:02:09 AM)
that's why i need time to regroup...it may be a decision i made today, but to actually swallow it thru and thru...i need time alone and away from them
skating_panda says: (11:02:45 AM)
yah..... how are u going to do that?
little superhero girl says: (11:03:22 AM)
don't meet up unnecessarily...go back to my long walks alone for a while to sort things out
little superhero girl says: (11:03:45 AM)
i was supposed to be jamming tonight with a band...but i don't think i'm in the right frame of mind...haha...
skating_panda says: (11:03:46 AM)
but Serene, you will feel extremely lonely and rather painful later......
little superhero girl says: (11:03:48 AM)
or maybe i should
skating_panda says: (11:04:04 AM)
I think you should
little superhero girl says: (11:04:40 AM)
waihwang...it will pass
little superhero girl says: (11:05:02 AM)
and then the sun will shine
after all, i got out of bed today, didn't i? =)
good morning world.
?little superhero girl says: (10:55:05 AM)
and waihwang...i woke up this morning feeling very heavy, but once i yanked myself outta bed...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:17 AM)
i saw the clock move...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:23 AM)
everything else around me was still running...
little superhero girl says: (10:55:28 AM)
life goes on =)
little superhero girl says: (10:55:45 AM)
i know where i stand in this, where i should stand in this
skating_panda says: (10:56:04 AM)
u made up your mind?
little superhero girl says: (10:56:11 AM)
just this morning, rather
little superhero girl says: (10:56:28 AM)
i'm a friend, a semi-employer...
skating_panda says: (10:56:33 AM)
ok. That should make things easier for u
little superhero girl says: (10:56:41 AM)
the studio is MY BABY...
little superhero girl says: (10:56:55 AM)
and i have the best team (to my knowledge)
little superhero girl says: (10:57:51 AM)
so i want to preserve my team.
skating_panda says: (10:58:17 AM)
tat's a pretty big sacrifice u know?
little superhero girl says: (10:58:34 AM)
my top priority is the school...
little superhero girl says: (10:58:37 AM)
other matters can wait
little superhero girl says: (10:58:46 AM)
and frankly, i don't know why my head let my heart take over for a while
little superhero girl says: (10:58:56 AM)
wrong timing...haha
little superhero girl says: (10:59:19 AM)
remember waihwang...i have never quite known friends until i joined salsa...
little superhero girl says: (10:59:40 AM)
so i treasure the bond we share...and do not wish to spoil it with relationship issues
skating_panda says: (11:01:07 AM)
hmm... I know it feels like
little superhero girl says: (11:02:09 AM)
that's why i need time to regroup...it may be a decision i made today, but to actually swallow it thru and thru...i need time alone and away from them
skating_panda says: (11:02:45 AM)
yah..... how are u going to do that?
little superhero girl says: (11:03:22 AM)
don't meet up unnecessarily...go back to my long walks alone for a while to sort things out
little superhero girl says: (11:03:45 AM)
i was supposed to be jamming tonight with a band...but i don't think i'm in the right frame of mind...haha...
skating_panda says: (11:03:46 AM)
but Serene, you will feel extremely lonely and rather painful later......
little superhero girl says: (11:03:48 AM)
or maybe i should
skating_panda says: (11:04:04 AM)
I think you should
little superhero girl says: (11:04:40 AM)
waihwang...it will pass
little superhero girl says: (11:05:02 AM)
and then the sun will shine
after all, i got out of bed today, didn't i? =)
good morning world.
"Go to her," she said.
He thrust his head into his palms and wept, too confused to articulate what he felt.
"Go to her, because you feel for her," she added.
the story of my life.
at times, i wish i were as incapacitated as william fitzpatrick.
he could tell everyone how he was the handsomest in his family, while limping down the path to the hut which housed the pigs.
i'd help him latch onto his crutches.
i'd take him for his showers, dress him, and put him into bed.
william, who refused to be known as "bill".
he, who smiled when i presented him with a birthday cookie i baked.
i wish i could be william for an instant.
i wish i could smile when someone gives me with a present.
i need to learn a lesson or two from william, who, with cerebral palsy and has been abandoned by his parents, always has a ready smile for me regardless of the pain he feels deep down.
i miss you, william.
and all of our favorite things.
He thrust his head into his palms and wept, too confused to articulate what he felt.
"Go to her, because you feel for her," she added.
the story of my life.
at times, i wish i were as incapacitated as william fitzpatrick.
he could tell everyone how he was the handsomest in his family, while limping down the path to the hut which housed the pigs.
i'd help him latch onto his crutches.
i'd take him for his showers, dress him, and put him into bed.
william, who refused to be known as "bill".
he, who smiled when i presented him with a birthday cookie i baked.
i wish i could be william for an instant.
i wish i could smile when someone gives me with a present.
i need to learn a lesson or two from william, who, with cerebral palsy and has been abandoned by his parents, always has a ready smile for me regardless of the pain he feels deep down.
i miss you, william.
and all of our favorite things.
HOW SWEET IT IS
sings Marvin Gaye.
To be loved by you.
i should be so lucky...haha.
in some odd way, i wish some dark knight would sweep me off my feet and onto his stallion, and tell me (while riding in the wind)...
"you are capable of creating love, and i now love you because i am capable of loving you."
that would be the day. =)
right now though, i'd have to settle with guys asking themselves 50 times if they can possibly love me.
eight outta ten would probably decide to give it up and head for an easier catch.
where are you, two-outta-ten?
sings Marvin Gaye.
To be loved by you.
i should be so lucky...haha.
in some odd way, i wish some dark knight would sweep me off my feet and onto his stallion, and tell me (while riding in the wind)...
"you are capable of creating love, and i now love you because i am capable of loving you."
that would be the day. =)
right now though, i'd have to settle with guys asking themselves 50 times if they can possibly love me.
eight outta ten would probably decide to give it up and head for an easier catch.
where are you, two-outta-ten?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
FREEDOM
torn and twisted still
but somewhere within that chaos
i've found my peace.
and it is with this peace
that i'll share my passion
and let love not get in the way.
or should i?
love has always been the root of it.
love will always be the root of it.
i love you, salsa.
i cannot promise to love you forever, but i will love you for as long as i can.
but even then, you will still own that part of my heart.
torn and twisted still
but somewhere within that chaos
i've found my peace.
and it is with this peace
that i'll share my passion
and let love not get in the way.
or should i?
love has always been the root of it.
love will always be the root of it.
i love you, salsa.
i cannot promise to love you forever, but i will love you for as long as i can.
but even then, you will still own that part of my heart.
AH...
the heart's still twisted, but the head's just started doing the talking.
i feel liberated at the concept of opening myself up to the boundless possibilities and even more so when i've laid all my cards out on the table.
though when you lay everything (including your heart) out, there's bound to be some damage done.
my heart has been trampled on tonight.
actually, it's been stuffed upon many times in the last couple of weeks.
but guess what?
i'm still here.
and i will be here for a long while to come.
i survived tonight.
and that should honor a celebration. =)
the heart's still twisted, but the head's just started doing the talking.
i feel liberated at the concept of opening myself up to the boundless possibilities and even more so when i've laid all my cards out on the table.
though when you lay everything (including your heart) out, there's bound to be some damage done.
my heart has been trampled on tonight.
actually, it's been stuffed upon many times in the last couple of weeks.
but guess what?
i'm still here.
and i will be here for a long while to come.
i survived tonight.
and that should honor a celebration. =)
CORNER OF THE SKY
Everything has its season
Everything has its time
Show me a reason and I'll show you a rhyme
Cats fit on the windowsill
Children fit in the snow
Why do I feel I don't fit in anywhere I go?
Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
Every man has his daydreams
Every man has his goals
People like the way dreams have of sticking to the soul
Thunderclouds have their lightning
Nightingales have their song
And don't you see I want my life to be something more than long
So many men seem destined
To settle for something small
But I won't rest until I know I'll have it all
So don't ask where I'm going
Just listen when I'm gone
And far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn
So maybe some misty day, you'll
Waken to find me gone
And far away, you'll
Hear me singing to the dawn
And you'll wonder if I'm happy there
A little more than I've been
And the answer will come back to you
Like laughter on the wind
Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
- Pipin
Everything has its season
Everything has its time
Show me a reason and I'll show you a rhyme
Cats fit on the windowsill
Children fit in the snow
Why do I feel I don't fit in anywhere I go?
Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
Every man has his daydreams
Every man has his goals
People like the way dreams have of sticking to the soul
Thunderclouds have their lightning
Nightingales have their song
And don't you see I want my life to be something more than long
So many men seem destined
To settle for something small
But I won't rest until I know I'll have it all
So don't ask where I'm going
Just listen when I'm gone
And far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn
So maybe some misty day, you'll
Waken to find me gone
And far away, you'll
Hear me singing to the dawn
And you'll wonder if I'm happy there
A little more than I've been
And the answer will come back to you
Like laughter on the wind
Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
- Pipin
Monday, October 24, 2005
DANCE WITH ME
here're some funny shit shots taken last friday night...
muy caliente!
the team with the steam.
ride wit me
it was fun taking this shot. =)
jonathan didn't know what pose to execute so i got him to do this...
jon and i
and because thomas was stalling with the camera, jon's legs started getting wobbly. =S
my other favorite picture
i love being dipped.
philbie wanted to get in on the act too...
my woman and me
here're some funny shit shots taken last friday night...
muy caliente!
the team with the steam.
ride wit me
it was fun taking this shot. =)
jonathan didn't know what pose to execute so i got him to do this...
jon and i
and because thomas was stalling with the camera, jon's legs started getting wobbly. =S
my other favorite picture
i love being dipped.
philbie wanted to get in on the act too...
my woman and me
ONE VOICE
Just one voice
Singing in the darkness
All it takes is one voice
Singing so they hear what's on your mind
And when you look around you'll find...
There's more than one voice.
if only things could be this way.
just one voice, reflecting the views of the many standing with their hands on my shoulder.
though in the cold, harsh world of business, no one trusts each other that much anymore to let that one voice take control.
there's only one salvation...
friendship.
but if it doesn't work out, then...
maybe i'll have to look for another form of salvation.
Just one voice
Singing in the darkness
All it takes is one voice
Singing so they hear what's on your mind
And when you look around you'll find...
There's more than one voice.
if only things could be this way.
just one voice, reflecting the views of the many standing with their hands on my shoulder.
though in the cold, harsh world of business, no one trusts each other that much anymore to let that one voice take control.
there's only one salvation...
friendship.
but if it doesn't work out, then...
maybe i'll have to look for another form of salvation.
PORQUE
something's gotta give.
maybe i'm that something.
but my heart just won't let me, because i've been doing this my entire life.
why can't i just be selfish for once...
...just that once in my life when i can take care of myself, and look after my own well-being?
why do i have to give?
I'M SUCH A WRECK NOW.
maybe taking up the studio isn't such a good idea after all.
i had hoped we'd grow stronger through it, but it doesn't seem to be happening.
the past two weeks have been a mess.
i had kept mum about being horribly stressed out, and hearing other people out.
i thought perhaps they had just wanted to unload their stress verbally, so it might make them feel better.
i didn't want to speak because i had no intention of comparing stress loads.
but it turned out i was their outlet...and for me...
i had no outlet.
when once, dance was my solace and the dance studio my blessing, it is now a burden...weighing on friendship and professionalism.
i have always taken pride in my professionalism. people who know me know that.
so when daphne asked if there was one thing i had to choose - between studio and friendship...
i chose the latter.
i chose the latter.
i chose the latter.
i'm in so much pain.
my heart is literally twisted into knots.
HELP ME.
PLEASE.
something's gotta give.
maybe i'm that something.
but my heart just won't let me, because i've been doing this my entire life.
why can't i just be selfish for once...
...just that once in my life when i can take care of myself, and look after my own well-being?
why do i have to give?
I'M SUCH A WRECK NOW.
maybe taking up the studio isn't such a good idea after all.
i had hoped we'd grow stronger through it, but it doesn't seem to be happening.
the past two weeks have been a mess.
i had kept mum about being horribly stressed out, and hearing other people out.
i thought perhaps they had just wanted to unload their stress verbally, so it might make them feel better.
i didn't want to speak because i had no intention of comparing stress loads.
but it turned out i was their outlet...and for me...
i had no outlet.
when once, dance was my solace and the dance studio my blessing, it is now a burden...weighing on friendship and professionalism.
i have always taken pride in my professionalism. people who know me know that.
so when daphne asked if there was one thing i had to choose - between studio and friendship...
i chose the latter.
i chose the latter.
i chose the latter.
i'm in so much pain.
my heart is literally twisted into knots.
HELP ME.
PLEASE.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
DRUMROLL....
and once again...
***********************************
Hello again friends!
Thank you so much for your overwhelming support these weeks as we gear up for our first trial classes. =)
Because you've been so absolutely sweet to us and introducing scores of friends into our midst, we'd like to extend our trial sessions by a week!
Here're the details:
Who: Oh come on...you know who! We want more of you and your friends!
What: FREE Salsa Trial Lessons for Beginners...get ready to shake your booty...;)
When: Thursday, 27th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm. Friday, 28th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm.
Where: Studio 82 on Amoy Street, Level 2. Caliente's on the same stretch of the entrance to Ann Siang Hill Park and the little temple right next to the Amoy Food Center. Go through the door on the side, head up to the second floor, and Caliente's on your left!
Why: Because we want to share our passion with you...=)
How: Just email us your name, email address and contact number to caliente.studio82@gmail.com. Bring your friends along with you!
Slots are available on a first-come-first-serve basis, so email to book your spots early.
Please feel free to drop me a note if you've got questions. =)
Love,
Serene Lim
Principal Instructor
Caliente@Studio82
and once again...
***********************************
Hello again friends!
Thank you so much for your overwhelming support these weeks as we gear up for our first trial classes. =)
Because you've been so absolutely sweet to us and introducing scores of friends into our midst, we'd like to extend our trial sessions by a week!
Here're the details:
Who: Oh come on...you know who! We want more of you and your friends!
What: FREE Salsa Trial Lessons for Beginners...get ready to shake your booty...;)
When: Thursday, 27th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm. Friday, 28th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm.
Where: Studio 82 on Amoy Street, Level 2. Caliente's on the same stretch of the entrance to Ann Siang Hill Park and the little temple right next to the Amoy Food Center. Go through the door on the side, head up to the second floor, and Caliente's on your left!
Why: Because we want to share our passion with you...=)
How: Just email us your name, email address and contact number to caliente.studio82@gmail.com. Bring your friends along with you!
Slots are available on a first-come-first-serve basis, so email to book your spots early.
Please feel free to drop me a note if you've got questions. =)
Love,
Serene Lim
Principal Instructor
Caliente@Studio82
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I'VE BEEN TO SEE THE KING!
well, not quite.
but i came quite close, as far as singapore politics go.
i spent saturday morning with the president, and the evening with the prime minister.
so for all you voyeurs out there, here's us at the istana...=)
bubba and i at the foyer
we were all waiting for the staff picture, but it didn't come through, so we had to make do with snapping pics of ourselves.
we then raced all the way to the front of the stateroom...
none of us dared to sit down
i think this has to be one of my favorite pics from the istana.
it wasn't until we were strolling out of the stateroom that we were told we weren't supposed to take pictures there...eeks.
and here's the imperial lawn...
basking in the sun, at last!
i was telling bubba of how the lawn alarms would go off if anyone were to step on the carpet grass...a la The Princess Diaries.
if only i lived here...not!
and then our final picture before we had to hop into the scout van...
camera whores are us...
unfortunately, my camera was locked up at the supreme court entrance so i didn't get to take a pic with the PM.
maybe next year then. =)
well, not quite.
but i came quite close, as far as singapore politics go.
i spent saturday morning with the president, and the evening with the prime minister.
so for all you voyeurs out there, here's us at the istana...=)
bubba and i at the foyer
we were all waiting for the staff picture, but it didn't come through, so we had to make do with snapping pics of ourselves.
we then raced all the way to the front of the stateroom...
none of us dared to sit down
i think this has to be one of my favorite pics from the istana.
it wasn't until we were strolling out of the stateroom that we were told we weren't supposed to take pictures there...eeks.
and here's the imperial lawn...
basking in the sun, at last!
i was telling bubba of how the lawn alarms would go off if anyone were to step on the carpet grass...a la The Princess Diaries.
if only i lived here...not!
and then our final picture before we had to hop into the scout van...
camera whores are us...
unfortunately, my camera was locked up at the supreme court entrance so i didn't get to take a pic with the PM.
maybe next year then. =)
THE YOUNG ONES
...shouldn't be afraid.
i've seen quite a few styles of management since starting work in '99.
i've observed, adapted and learnt.
i have to learn to understand that people are not as adaptable as me.
i have to learn not to fault them.
i have to learn to be patient with them.
i have to learn to accept that i may not be what every one of them likes.
and most of all...
i have to learn that i am all of 24, have worked at five very different places and have traveled the world...
...and there's not many of me around.
dear god, please give me the strength to pull through.
...shouldn't be afraid.
i've seen quite a few styles of management since starting work in '99.
i've observed, adapted and learnt.
i have to learn to understand that people are not as adaptable as me.
i have to learn not to fault them.
i have to learn to be patient with them.
i have to learn to accept that i may not be what every one of them likes.
and most of all...
i have to learn that i am all of 24, have worked at five very different places and have traveled the world...
...and there's not many of me around.
dear god, please give me the strength to pull through.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
THAT'S ALL
michael buble was a fantastic entertainer.
from his flirtatious ways to his corny bike jokes, he charmed the crowd, including the men.
while i dozed off somewhere in the middle, i was wide awake with my eyes closed to this number...
I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all
I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.
i miss you.
come home.
that's all.
michael buble was a fantastic entertainer.
from his flirtatious ways to his corny bike jokes, he charmed the crowd, including the men.
while i dozed off somewhere in the middle, i was wide awake with my eyes closed to this number...
I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all
I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.
i miss you.
come home.
that's all.
Monday, October 10, 2005
DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT
...everybody's feeling warm and bright.
the maiden performance with viva probably wouldn't have been as exhilarating as it was, if not for the presence of friends.
salsa may have widened many of our social circles, but rueda is the one thing that has brought people together.
well fate brings people together through a vehicle.
and ours just happens to be rueda.
a lone figure amongst us has a performance, and a whole gang turns up in support...and i don't only mean my performance with viva.
evelyn did her final night of her musical last night, and some of us crazies went to watch her.
the moment she appeared on stage, i teared.
it was a comical and fun scene, and yet, i teared.
i felt such a swelling pride that my friend's on stage, telling a story, commanding everyone to look at her and pay attention to her.
i was proud that my friend was a professional, going this far even though everything leading up the final show was a mess.
it was heartening...knowing that evelyn is a friend, a dance mate, a co-instructor.
and most of all, i felt like the search was over.
fitting in was never important to me, but this comes the closest to it...and it feels good.
i have assembled a dream team (well, at least they are...in my book) which is understated, unknown and unpolished.
but i'm sure our synergies will surpass those of even the most established schools one day.
because we love each other.
and when this is a labor of love, you'll know you'll get nothing less. NOTHING.
emotional biz aside, here's us on saturday...=)
VIVASALSA!
i was confirmed on the day i did the performance with them.
is that cool or is that cool?
Yuli and Me
yuli put up a splendid performance the previous week...and went to make sure i didn't do worse. =)
Soong Fee, Gwizzly and Me
Dinner at Breeks...
OH WHAT A NIGHT.
...everybody's feeling warm and bright.
the maiden performance with viva probably wouldn't have been as exhilarating as it was, if not for the presence of friends.
salsa may have widened many of our social circles, but rueda is the one thing that has brought people together.
well fate brings people together through a vehicle.
and ours just happens to be rueda.
a lone figure amongst us has a performance, and a whole gang turns up in support...and i don't only mean my performance with viva.
evelyn did her final night of her musical last night, and some of us crazies went to watch her.
the moment she appeared on stage, i teared.
it was a comical and fun scene, and yet, i teared.
i felt such a swelling pride that my friend's on stage, telling a story, commanding everyone to look at her and pay attention to her.
i was proud that my friend was a professional, going this far even though everything leading up the final show was a mess.
it was heartening...knowing that evelyn is a friend, a dance mate, a co-instructor.
and most of all, i felt like the search was over.
fitting in was never important to me, but this comes the closest to it...and it feels good.
i have assembled a dream team (well, at least they are...in my book) which is understated, unknown and unpolished.
but i'm sure our synergies will surpass those of even the most established schools one day.
because we love each other.
and when this is a labor of love, you'll know you'll get nothing less. NOTHING.
emotional biz aside, here's us on saturday...=)
VIVASALSA!
i was confirmed on the day i did the performance with them.
is that cool or is that cool?
Yuli and Me
yuli put up a splendid performance the previous week...and went to make sure i didn't do worse. =)
Soong Fee, Gwizzly and Me
Dinner at Breeks...
OH WHAT A NIGHT.
Friday, October 07, 2005
i'm not dead
...i'll be back soon =)
in the meantime...
Dear Friends,
Caliente@Studio82 would like to invite you to share in our passion for salsa - a dance with cuban roots, groove, and latin american style.
We will be holding four trial classes this month for anyone who's game to try our truly unique style of salsa. =)
Here're the details:
Who: YOU! Or anyone who's interested in salsa and wants to try it out before committing to a course...
What: Free trial salsa classes with a cuban influence...
When: 20th October 2005 (Thursday) and 21st October 2005 (Friday). 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm. (Two slots per day)
Where: 82 Amoy Street, in line with the Amoy Street Food Center. Level 2. Just head up the stairs and Caliente will be on your left.
Why: Because we want to share our passion for the dance with you...=) Of course, we're gonna have a whole loada fun as well!
How: It's simple. Just email your name, email address (for correspondence) and contact number to caliente.studio82@gmail.com.
Slots are available on a first-come-first-serve basis. We're limiting each class to 10 couples (yes, that means 10 guys and 10 gals), so email to book your slots soon!
Please feel free to email me if you need any assistance. =)
See you then!
yes i'm teaching. =)
...i'll be back soon =)
in the meantime...
Dear Friends,
Caliente@Studio82 would like to invite you to share in our passion for salsa - a dance with cuban roots, groove, and latin american style.
We will be holding four trial classes this month for anyone who's game to try our truly unique style of salsa. =)
Here're the details:
Who: YOU! Or anyone who's interested in salsa and wants to try it out before committing to a course...
What: Free trial salsa classes with a cuban influence...
When: 20th October 2005 (Thursday) and 21st October 2005 (Friday). 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm. (Two slots per day)
Where: 82 Amoy Street, in line with the Amoy Street Food Center. Level 2. Just head up the stairs and Caliente will be on your left.
Why: Because we want to share our passion for the dance with you...=) Of course, we're gonna have a whole loada fun as well!
How: It's simple. Just email your name, email address (for correspondence) and contact number to caliente.studio82@gmail.com.
Slots are available on a first-come-first-serve basis. We're limiting each class to 10 couples (yes, that means 10 guys and 10 gals), so email to book your slots soon!
Please feel free to email me if you need any assistance. =)
See you then!
yes i'm teaching. =)
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