PICTURE POSTCARDS FROM L.A.

signed with love forevermore.

some overdue pictures from the week that's past...


bakersloo line at istana park

it was a raining evening and the bands had to move to the sheltered area, facing...well, nothing.

the crowd was sparse, but hey...we enjoyed ourselves anyhow.


me and waihwang

one of the first few pictures of the paparazzi at glo's christmas party.

the guy who's usually behind the camera was sweet enough to sit in on this one with me. =)


chocolate chip ice cream

yuli was going around feeding everyone ice cream.

i'm pretty sure everyone had the same expression when she fed them...not.

paparazzi was good on this one. dang.


the temptations

us three did quite a few things together.

together with daphne, we form "the circle of trust." =)

and with the circle of trust fully gathered, the paparazzi decided to take a break from tabloid photography and sit in on the picture again...=)


(clockwise)yuli, ling, me, daphne, waihwang

it was cool and fun.


the sister and me

i think we both had better exchange genders...just to maintain gender equilibrium.


cosmopolitans

all salsa-crazed people gathered in one room.

imagine the sound system massacre that took place after.


talk about coincidences

i met my secondary schoolmate at a year-end dinner Viva performed at.

of course, his colleagues were teasing him about picking up one of the dancers...haha.

oh well, too tired to jot down any insight.

the student, his email and pepper crabs.

the saving graces of the day.

i'm sorry the beach had to wait.

i desperately need to scream.

you know how creepy that is.

read it again...

"i desperately need to scream."

if i can be so calm telling you that i need the outlet, then you should really be afraid.

HELP

i need somebody.

STAY AWAY FROM ME.

JUST...STAY AWAY.

i'm NEVER right, just always wrong.

and i don't understand things, it seems.

so yes, love me for all the wrong reasons.

that's what relationships are, aren't they?

and you...yes you...

you've been saying things about me.

go on.

say it.

publicize what you think you know.

if i'm worth that much of your time to gossip about, i'm very flattered.

but if i don't know you personally, i wouldn't even comment.

because my friends would ask me about things and not mutter behind my back.

and if you're a friend who does that.

hurray.

well thank the heavens for you.

thank you all for bringing back the angsty me.

i believe i'd be able to write a lot better in the days to come.

IF I WAS THE ONE

who was loving you
the only tears you cry will be tears of joy
and if i were by your side
you'll never know one lonely night

and if it were my arms you were running to
feel the love in these arms of mine
if i was the one
in your eyes.

from centerstage, a movie about loving the dance, whether conventional or not.

most times, you'll have major odds to beat.

i had...and am still trying to beat some.

though some people around me make it all more bearable.

christmas day sucked.

well actually, past midnight sucked.

glo was a fantastic host, as usual, and the party went great.

but i was in such a foul mood i wished i hadn't gone to the party at all and created such trouble for some of those around.

it was something i couldn't manage, and so, had to yank a couple of friends in to help.

gosh, i should bloody well trust my own instincts.

the next time my gut tells me something shitty's gonna happen, i should just trust it.

and not go.

yes, i'm still feeling guilty of causing my friends such trouble when they should've been having the night of the season.

SANTA BABY

come and trim my christmas tree
with some decorations from Tiffany's

the mother wasn't surprised. haha.

christmas eve dinner at the aunt's wasn't all that bad.

'twas pretty toned down this year, except for the car ride back to my place.

the cousin tailgated, swore and grumbled at slow drivers.

this, when she doesn't quite keep to her own lane.

anyways, the roomie and i had a late breakfast at ya kun @ parkway parade and we did some grocery shopping as well.

because we deplete eggs like gaston ala beauty and the beast, we bought 20 instead of the usual 10.

we were even contemplating the tray of 30. =P

the aunt gave me a sandwich toaster yesterday, and roomie J and i bought bread and tuna just because.

hmm...i had plenty of wisecracks to write about, but things just aren't flowing this afternoon.

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

let your heart be light.

it ain't easy.

i got home about three hours back and have been winding down.

then the friend calls me up and orders me to get ready in 15 minutes.

we're going to have ice cream.

craziness i tell ya.

this christmas IS different.

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL

the smile on your face
lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me

the touch of your hand
says you'll catch me
whenever i fall

you say it best
when you say nothing at all

i never attached as much to this song until just.

when i replayed the recording of jason singing it to his wife.

sigh. (a happy and romantic one) =P

ON MY OWN

pretending he's beside me
all alone, i walk with him till morning
without him, i feel his arms around me
and when i lose my way i close my eyes
and he has found me.

i love him
but when the night is over
he is gone, the river's just a river
without him, the world around me changes
the trees are bare and everywhere
the streets are full of strangers.

i love him
but everyday i'm learning
all my life, i've only been pretending
without me, his world will go on turning
the world is full of happiness that i have never known.

i love him
but only on my own.

from the day i watched les miz as a primary school kid to the day i watched it again as a young adult, eponine has been my favorite character, and "on my own", my favorite song.

god only knows why i would relate to eponine at such a young age.

and only he knows why i would tell marco that i miss everyone...even though they're all around me.

i have a friend who's in canada now, telling me he thinks we'll have loadsa fun catching musicals and eating hotdogs off the stands in manhattan.

another acquaintance who tells me that his first impression of me was funness (in a non-risque sorta way).

and one more fella who tells me i'm "sunshine". yes, cheesy, but he was trying to make me smile.

no matter how upbeat i've tried to keep myself over the past couple of weeks, it's obvious that i've sunken down to a new low.

of course, add to that how someone wants to slap me for almost taking his life away, as he puts it.

and to top it off, he goes "merry christmas shiyin."

hurray.

it sure seems like i'm the new bitch on the block.

if being straight and holding back no punches renders me a bitch, then i suppose i've always been one. =)

so merry christmas to you too, boon.

as for the one guy i was proud to call my boyfriend...

you were the best thing that's happened to me in my young adult life.

if i hadn't loved you when we got together, i loved you when we left for home.

besides my scout brothers, you were the only one i've extended my left hand to.

and it will still be there for you.

whenever you feel ready to take it again.

from the depths of my heart,

take care, soon leong.

this has been the most eventful year for me yet.

and somehow, i know it's only just begun.

may the following year bring on more activity, blossom friendship and love.

major hugs and kisses to you who reads this.

merry christmas.

PARTY IN THE PARK

calling out around the world...

who: bakersloo line (yes they got their name from the london tube station)

what: some charity concert

when: tonight, 2030hrs (i think, since we're supposed to be there at 2000hrs for the soundcheck)

where: istana park, directly opposite the istana and plaza singapura

why: uh...because you wanna get into the chillin' christmas spirit? =) and of course, to watch me make a fool of myself yelling gloria gayner's I WILL SURVIVE!!!!

catch ya there!

hmm.

not well.

LET IT GO

i think we've been here before
i recognize this place
i've seen the mark of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace

i don't wanna play anymore
not when the stakes are so high
so before we circle around once more
can we lay down
lay down this pride

let it go
let it be
don't waste all your emotion
on this tit for tat machine
let it go
let it be
let it go

don't go wasting your emotion
no one wins if we keep score

let it go
let it be
let it go.

i requested the band to replace "i will survive" with "if i ain't got you".

thought i might have the sass to carry it off now.

i've often been villianized, simply because of the way i do things.

in being villianized by some, others victimize me.

they victimize me by empathizing with me, or even sympathizing.

i do not ask for sympathy, empathy is fine.

very often, i've come out from adversity in one piece because i'm used to dealing with such on my own.

though a couple of weeks back, i felt so desperate that i called my friend up, sobbing and laughing at the same time.

he thought i had gone nuts.

i was sobbing out of shock and pain, but laughing because i couldn't believe my motor skills controlled my picking up the phone and calling my friend.

oh well.

hate me.

you know you want to.

MITTAGESSEN

this is what memories are made of...


the motley crew

merry christmas you two.

I GOT RHYTHM

arms and tummy's aching from my light body conditioning session last night before training.

we managed to get down most of the choreo...though things could be a lot better on my side. =(

me and my clumsy self managed to add on to the accumulative bruises on my elbows, hips and knees and that huge scar on my thigh.

looks like i won't be wearing shorts for a while.

the guys are trying to get me to wear a santarina outfit for friday's gig. i stopped at the hat.

latest events have got me going back to the "if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself" mentality.

sigh.

and people ask me to trust them.

BELIEVE

believe in what you feel inside
and give your dreams the wings to fly
you have everything you need
if you just believe

i walked under the christmas lights tonight.

before this, i had ridden under it.

it was interesting.

even as i was walking down the strip alone, it didn't feel like before.

of course, the lights still perpetuated the "lonely" bit, but something just felt different.

maybe the hair's got something to do with it.

PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC

things are looking up for christmas.

i may be singing at the istana park with bakersloo line this friday...=)

if this goes through, it'll be the first time i'll sing with the band in PUBLIC.

it'll be nice to jam with trev and jas again. they're excellent musicians.

check this out...


the goofball me

if this isn't some semblance of normalcy, i don't know what is.

back to warm vanilla goodness. =)

soon leong,

scouts' left hand shake?

shiyin.

ENAMORADO DE TI

the night sky's clear today.

i managed to catch the constellations you told me about that night.

just caught "perhaps, love" with the gang.

no words.

no words.

still in a daze with oscillating emotions.

i loved it.

geez.

a friend reminded me that i really started salsa on a cruise ship.

and that was a little more than a year back.

reminiscing. =)

ONLY LOVE

don't turn away, it's only love
quietly coming to you
whispering through you...

the song comes from the scarlet pimpernel.

his wife found out about his secret identity and didn't tell him.

and when he found out that she knew, he turned her away...and she sang this to him.

i wish i'd never have to sing this to anyone.

and that i would never have to convince anyone of my love for him.

because i will love him.

take my hand, it's only love
let it come to you slowly
don't be afraid, it's only love.

oh shit.

hmm.

let's wait a couple more days before i make a deduction.

KEYS

we just got the keys to our new place. =)

on the 100 back from raffles place, i passed some landmarks...

1) victoria theater.

and i saw you walking towards me.

2) raffles hotel, in all its christmas glory.

twist of fate.

christmas.

i tell you...it's the freakin' end-of-year syndrome.

TOO FANCY (Part II)

give me some courtside seats
i want my nose to bleed
he's just too fancy for me.

i keep having les miz's "on my own" replaying in my head.

and since the whole wide world knows...

it's painful, but i'll get through it.

sheryl crow was right.

first cut IS the deepest.

though contrary to what people try to do, i don't hate.

believe it or not, the feelings are still very much alive.

but i'm a realist, and i know what i have to do.

and this is what i need to do.

call me selfish. =)

IT'S NOT EASY

...to be me.

i got elbowed in the head tonight.

should've seen it coming, but oh well.

spent a good minute tearing at the red chairs near the entrance, not daring to look up at the few crowding around me.

am tired.

shouldn't have gone to union. =(

there were a few saving graces though.

thank you.

ANYTHING GOES

in olden days a glimpse of stocking was
looked on as something shocking
now heaven knows...
anything goes.

cole porter has always held a special place in my heart.

it isn't his persona (as portrayed in the movie de-lovely) that attracts me so, but his music.

remember the refrains from that adidas commercial of ella fitzgerald crooning "too darn hot"?

yum.

i even remember kissing someone i love ever so dearly to porter's "let's do it (let's fall in love)".

but to love painfully, and not blissfully, is something i can't do.

because i love myself even more.

i remember this once when a friend in poly told me this...

"you really ought to just let someone into your life so at least there's someone to take care of you."

and i just retorted...

"why do you think think i need someone to take care of me?"

it's been a trend...people telling me that i need to be taken care of.

I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER ME.

i'm no damsel in distress and i certainly need no white knight on a dark stallion.

yes, i appreciate your care and you watching out for me.

but i do not NEED someone to care for me.

maybe i want it.

though not right now, i don't.

so whoever you are, stay away from me.

and that includes you, you and you.

on a brighter note, certain company has made such crazy times more bearable...


my ride and his other passenger

the silent presence you need sometimes, may not be the one you're with.

he may just be there.


my ride and me

okay, i shall stop calling him my ride...he's wayne.

and if you remember, he's the one in those scandalous pictures of weeks past.


some people say...

we have "fu qi xiang", which means we kinda look like a couple.

though i'd prefer to see our resemblance as sibling-ish. =)

merry christmas, shiyin darling.

love you.

INSEPERABLE

and like a flower to a tree
like words to a melody...

it's raining.

ah...release.

thanks for crying on my behalf.

go on.

POUR.

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL

literally.

not the way ronan keating sings it.

on my way in to work today, i felt an overwhelming wave of sadness.

i resisted the urge to cry right there and then.

even now, i'm still resisting.

grow up now, little girl.

your hair's grown out.

SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY

wasting time.

the megatron wants me to have some time off.

unlike other bosses hidden behind velvet curtains, this one thought the time i took for my tunisian mission wasn't "rest" enough...=)

so yes, i'm getting time off.

though this just means i can spend more time on Caliente and moving.

and by a pure stroke of fate, roomie J's got the same time off as well.

what're the chances? =P

it's amazing how circumstances bring two people together.

CHESTNUTS

i fell asleep twice.

yes, with my head hanging.

while everyone was laughing away.

i'm THAT tired.

fifty bucks down the dunny that was.

I KNOW PEOPLE

...who know people...

yes cookie, this post is for you.

thank you for your concern.

the sstt will forever remain that wolf pack.

and no one screws with any of us.

any of us.

elmie, ernie, bert, bird, big momma: i know you're watching my back. =)

it's amazing how news gets around, sifting through unconnected channels.

THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT

and i can't explain
but there's something about the way you look tonight...

is it the way she smiles?

or the way she dresses?

or perhaps, the way she moves?

i suppose you can never quite put your finger to why you might like her so.

you find her a mystery...an inspirationally contagious mystery.

everything about her just is.

she knows because you tell her.

and she appreciates it.

because the more ambiguous your description of like is, the more she knows it isn't about how she looks, just standing there.

and the more you try to rationalize why you love her, the more you'll lose it.

there're some things you really don't need to have an answer to.

you simply need to just smile, nod, take her hand...

...and dance. =)

MOVING ON UP

we're moving in next month! =)

i get to go shopping...for christmas and for our new place.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO (Part II)

why do i feel like i've just broken up with him for the second time in two years?

we're at the juncture of renewing our vows...

so why do i feel so sad?

FROM MY HEAD TO MY HEART

From my head to my heart
can't seem to find a way they're so far apart
It's not you, it's not your fault
You've got everything I could ever want
And you've always understood my intentions are good
and we've been so close from the start
but the furthest distance I've ever known is
From my head to my heart

i woke up with evan and jaron in my head.

i suppose this has always been the case.

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

elvis' voice haunts me to no end.

the words ring with such familiarity...it's amazing.

as i sit here, pondering over the happenings, or the the lackof, of the day, i drift back to adeline's words earlier...

A: so how is your new love?

S: it's like that.

A: so sweet ah you two, send each other flowers. =)

S: yeah...he was feeling a little upset so i crept a rose up on him. =)

A: good for you.

S: yeah, thanks. =)

in other news...

i've made up my mind. =)

i'm choosing mark over mus.

and club street over caldecott hill.

my heart over my head.

MY BABY YOU

are the reason i could fly
and cuz of you
i don't have to wonder why
baby you
there's no more just getting by
you're the reason i feel so alive.

don't think i've ever had a girl call me that before...=P

today's probably the first time a girl expressly said...

"take care, my baby."

aww.

how sweet it is to be loved by you.

some people should just keep a bloody dictionary in their bags.

i get the creeps when someone uses a phrase or word they don't really know the meaning to over and over again, simply to show that they can use bombastic language.

i'm guilty of using such vocabulary in my daily speech.

unfortunately though, it's been ingrained.

big language is overrated.

let's try to break it down and keep it simple please.

and if you think you need to keep up with me, you really don't need to.

i've grown up in a different environment, different plane, different society.

and i'm in a job that requires my understanding of the language to be of prime importance.

speak your comfort, write your comfort.

on that note, i think i will start keeping one in my bag again.

a dictionary, that is.

REFLECTIONS OF MY LIFE

all my crying
feel like dying, dying
take me back
to my old home...

i harmonized to udang singing this at jas' post-wedding party, and it's been in my head since.

the megatron and i had gone to view a really cool space along club street.

good vibes and all aside, it's close to caliente, and to the recording studio. =)

if all goes well, we'll be moving in in the next couple of months.

things are going well...or not, i don't know.

i still haven't quite given mus my answer.

YOU REMIND ME OF A GIRL

...that i once knew.

"you look like an actress."

"who?"

"ivy lee."


the three stooges

with mexican tiramisu and kilkenny, boddingtons and corona down our throats, we went home.

*yawn*

i'm on the phone.

LONGER

i had attended a eurasian wedding reception saturday afternoon, and sang at the post-wedding party at penny black in the evening.

my first gig in a pub that was.

it was a fantastic experience. =)

but the part that touched me the most was trevor singing dan fogelberg's "longer".

jason said he sang it to caroline just before he proposed to her.

i just wish i would be able to hear this, and sing this to someone, someday, in the same fashion. =)

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you

I'll bring fire in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you
I'll be in love with you

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you

thank you jason and caroline, for making me believe in love.

thank you, trevor, for singing it so beautifully.

GIVE ME ONE REASON

...to stay here, and i'll turn my back around.

so i have the weekend to think things through.

hopefully, i would've gained some clarity by the time the week is up.

how many times can you reject someone to get him to stop?

in this case, i'm glad he hasn't.

something tells me though, if i were to say "no" this time, he'd quit asking.

and i'm not sure i'm ready for that.

so i need the weekend to think things through.

thank you for believing in me, mus.

FLOWERS

i want to buy you flowers
it's such a shame you're a boy
cuz if you are not a girl
nobody buys you flowers

i'd like to refute that stanza.

i bought him a flower. oh all right...A flower, not FLOWERS.

last night though, he surprised me with a whole bouquet of them flowers.

at union square. wow.

"you bought me a rose yesterday, so this is for you..."



"you said sunflowers made you smile, so i got you some..."



"you said you liked budding roses, so i got you some buds and some in full bloom..."



"and you said your favorite is the orchid, so i got you orchids of different varietals..."



yes, my favorite is this.

wow...flowers.

for me.

=)

CARAMEL

i like boxing matches and football games
i wouldn't mind being an actress but i love to sing
i like going out, taking walks and stuff...

a twist of fate...


it's not what i imagined...

i could never imagine going out with him, because he had always appeared "too fancy".

but i am now. =)


roses

i got him a rose last night, intending to make him smile.

whatever i imagined, i did not imagine you.

whatever's been written, i lay down to rest.

whatever's been read, fulfills your reality.

those words don't reflect me, my reality, my past.

so they remain empty vessels...which do nothing for me, yet seek to question others' faith in me.

though...

if your faith's been swayed by another's mere words in a warped world, then perhaps i have no cause for worry.

for i'm right here.

real.

arms wide open.

smiling.

LOSE MY BREATH

can you keep up?

...with voyeuristic intentions?

get sucked into a vortex of wanting more and more...of something you're not sure is.

and yet, you live it, breathe it, as if it were real.

if it were, then this subject's probably not.

it's hard to keep up.

and i'm getting a wheeze.

SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER

funny ass song titles such as the above should be applauded...as well as the fella who came up with the term "funny ass". =)

in the spirit of asses this holiday season, i'd like to share with you a few asses that were quite willing to be profiled.


ass number one

i'm sure some of you know him.

he doesn't go to union very often these days, but people still go "woah" in his presence. ;)


ass number two

now this fella heads down to union and fiesta quite frequently.

also in viva. =)


ass number three

the laydees love her ass, especially when she's booty-shakin' in union. ;)

so i went back to the parents' home last week and my brother just had to do this...


gimme a piggin' hug

piggin' has been shedding nose-skin.

maybe he misses gwizzly, that's why. hmm.

anyways, gwizzly has the bed all to himself when i'm out during the day.

piggin' and gwizzly aside, here's another cute picture i caught...


say chee cheong fun!!

i always marvel at how cheeky some people can look with a camera.

they seem to walk around, snapping away with a vengeance.

of course, this fella was merely waiting for me to lower mine to accomodate his. =)

OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY

in time the rockies may crumble
gibraltar may tumble
they're only made of clay but
our love is here to stay.

memories are made of these...and i'll tell you why.

but first...


whatcha lookin' at?

here's ashley's favorite shot among those she snapped testing out her camera.

anyways, i had gone to the starhub imode launch party at the ACM with angus last friday evening.

'twas a star-studded event and we just hung around at the foyer till we were ushered into the main hall.

so while hanging there, i commented that i know this guy from the trip to tunisia. he's Tan Guong Ching...all i know is that he used to be from ST Telemedia.

so i go over to say hi...

Me: hi mr tan, how are you doing?

TGC: hey serene! i'm good! what're you doing here?

Me: oh we're one of the content providers for imode. how about yourself?

TGC smiles.

Me: are you handling the imode service?

TGC smiles, leans over and whispers...

"i'm the chairman of starhub."

oh yes, the literal head-banging with my palm started right there.

then of course, i saw noel (head of NEC Singapore) and told my boss i knew him too.


me and noel hon, head of NEC Singapore, who initiated the singapore kindness movement, and justice of peace.

think i left my brains at home that day since i couldn't quite figure out why noel was there until angus pointed out that NEC makes half the handsets meant for imode.

geez.

while angus was attacking the chocolate fountain post-terry clontz's speech, i was craving for savories...and so, we walked over to mcdonald's at boat quay.

we passed by this place...


ah sweet recollection

i signed my first contract with HBM here. =)

so saturday was gloria's birthday celebration, and waihwang and i went cake-hunting.

we saw so many glorious pastries that we couldn't resist trying out the oreo cheesecake ourselves...


guilty as charged

i'm a sucker for cheesecakes.

waihwang calls this the "serene looking guilty" pic...and describes it as one of the rare candid shots he has of me.

but it's also evidence that i eat okay?

i don't starve myself to death. =)

and finally, dinner in the evening with gloria and gang...


pretty babies

us girls had a good time savoring the "ZARA" from spizza - a chocolate-smeared pizza crust topped with banana slices and chopped almonds. YUMMY.

then it was off to union for a night of birthday dancing for glo and chinfee. =)

i had quite a bit of fun myself.

three fantastic bachatas with seb and geoffrey.

and many salsas with the usual suspects.

oh what a night.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

getting to know all about you.
getting to like you, getting to know you like me.

you smiled at me from across the room.

you walked towards me.

these things that you have seldom done before, you did tonight like second nature.

as you took my hand, i felt a huge tingle down my spine.

i was shy.

but i got a sense of familiarity from you.

and so, i said yes.

thank you for asking me to dance tonight. =)

(even at the risk of me knocking off your glasses again...)

AND SO IT IS

...just like you said it would be.



it's about time.

FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST

"skinnier," he said.

mukhtar couldn't recognize me because he's been away for months.

"i like the way you teach!"

josee checked out our first class from outside the studio.

"is sunday going to be this fun?"

alyssa, who's going over to the sunday class with her friends, asked excitedly.

as i sat in union last night, i realized one thing.

it was familiar, yet packed with surprises.

and i was comfortable.

if not for salsa, i would never have allowed myself to step into a club.

and if it weren't for salsa, i would never have thought of being THIS close to someone while dancing.

so my first cut, together with my first class of yesterday, is, and will always be the deepest.

i'm still very very much in love. =)

STARRY STARRY NIGHT

i had recounted one of the most amazing nights in my young life to a friend recently.

it was of me camping in the woods with my girls...and lying on our sleeping bags by a campfire, looking up at the expanse of sky right above us.

we were surrounded by trees which circled our camping area, so we saw a round area of sky.

but even in that round area, there were countless stars.

everytime i blinked, another few would seem to appear.

city life has left me jaded.

and though i've often thought myself as nothing less than a city girl, that sight drew me to a stop.

i suppose you can get such sights in singapore on a clear night.

all you really need is silent presence lying next to you as you gaze up at those wonders.

perhaps that's what i need.

i'd get lost in the planes of confusion otherwise.

FIXING A BROKEN HEART

is something i know not what to do.

i hope you understand...i had to administer it this way.

please take care, my friend.

and stay my friend.

THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES (PART TWO)

not all bike riders look cool on their bikes.

not all pillion riders lean on the fella in front.

i recently hung out with a guy friend with a nice, big bike...and because i'm a little shy (oh stop sniggering and let me continue), i politely hold on to the guy's shoulders and lean back on the box behind me.

all's fine when he cruises along.

when he hits a bump or two though, my back hits a bump or two as well...against the box.

the first couple of times that happened, i tried to sit straight, but found it really odd.

but i couldn't possibly lean forward because uh...because i'm shy? (stop laughing!)

so i just grit my teeth and lean back. =(

and this just occurred to me...

the bike is pretty interesting.

because if i were hanging out with someone i don't really know in a car...we might fall into occasions of silence and it might get awkward.

with a bike, you can't really talk, so you kinda converse a lot at your destination.

there's not much communication during the bike ride, except for short stops at traffic lights where he turns back and grins at you or passes a quick comment.

i don't know where i'm going with this though.

hmm.

you called at the right time.

while i was silently screaming out for help...for anyone...just anyone to call.

and you did.

someone up there must be watching over me.

and thank goodness you did.

AND ALSO...

oh shut up already!

the guy comes in late, sits behind me and keeps quiet for most of the Q&A.

then as TTH asks if there're any more questions, he takes it as a cue to start...

...and i swear he went down the entire balance sheet! honest!

that aside, TTH remembers me and asks "you look very familiar, have we met?"

i was quite sure he wouldn't have remembered me then too, so i said "when you were in starhub."

and he goes "ah..."

hmm.

then again, he isn't the only person who finds me familiar.

even tim from M1 said i looked familiar the first time we met, then asked if i have done TV.

i wish man. =)

NBC, here i come!

A LIGHT AFFAIR

or so they call it.

it's a speed-dating game show sponsored by coke light.

and i was invited to go audition for it.

i was stumped by two questions during the screen shots...

"what do you look for in a guy?"

"what about a guy turns you on and what turns you off?"

uhhuh. i was stumped.

i said i didn't know..."a nice smile, perhaps?"

and she prompted "how about height or frame? it doesn't concern you at all?"

nopes.

hmm...i've come some ways now, haven't i?

VICTIM OF A FOOLISH HEART

how many times have people fallen prey to heartfelt matters and victimize themselves?

how many times can it happen to one?

hmm.

many times, apparently.

don't get me wrong, i'm not talking about myself.

anyways, back to the mundane happenings of the day...

i suppose the one thing that really stood out today was the interesting evening i had.

we went to a quaint little place at arab street (and can you believe it was the first time i've been along that stretch?!) for dinner and went hunting for a movie which never realized.

scintillating conversation never fails to make my day. =)

bad movie choices aside, i'd say tonight was one of the most relaxing times i've had in ages.

*of course, nothing beats the BBQ/movie marathon evening at glo's =P

the beating of the wind on my face made it a little numb, as i walked home.

so even if i had smiled involuntarily, i wouldn't have known. =)

and i suppose, sometimes, you think the world revolves around you.

i'm not out to hurt you with my words.

LADY IN RED

is dancing with me, cheek to cheek
there's nobody here, it's just you and me
that's where i wanna be.

i came home, showered, turned on the telly and see chris de burgh "live".

to think i could forget this beautiful song...

as he crooned those words, i just...well, i just felt.

perhaps one day, someone would sing it to me.

and ask me to dance. =)

SKIRTING THE ISSUE

i've got the flu blues.

just when i was so looking forward to training tonight.

thank goodness HP has been moved to the 20th...everything's falling into place just nicely. =)

i'm just sorry i can't jam with spyderhole for the wedding set. sorry, DP...

everyone who's seem me today likes the skirt i have on.

perhaps it's because of my hair (that's growing out) that makes the whole look more...feminine?

hmm.

THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

hmm...actually, this was meant to be an entry on friday night.

but i was too swept away by the bike rides to think straight. =)

so saturday evening saw the lot of us checking out THE GROOVE at east coast park.

and yes, we danced till we soaked in each other's perspiration...

and i danced with barry! but the song was majorly lengthy, so we had to stop three-quarters through.

the party really began when we got to gloria's place at almost 2300hrs.

since the rest were snuggled peacefully inside watching CLOSER, the few of us sat on the patio, enjoying the BBQ bits the rest had left.

so here's my diary of what happened...

why the hell they watched CLOSER, i don't quite know...but what a depressing start to a good night.


cocktail sausages...

i don't know what kinda obsession sebastian has with cocktail sausages, but he was seriously jealous to see us chomping on HIS (or so he proclaims) sausages.

but yes, after eating a couple, i can tell why he likes them. ;)

and the little kitties came out to play.

tito, patch and their mom hovered around the swing...


kitty likes me...

this picture would surely get loadsa hits on any personals site. =)

melt girls, melt.

so the kind biker taught me how to handle the little tyke...


altogether now...aww...

sweet little thing.

and mommy comes along...


miao...

of course there comes that time of the night, or morning, that your eyes get tired from the contact lens and so...


voila!

yes yes...little miss specky.

fortunately, i was told i looked "cute" in glasses.

so the crowd finishes their second movie HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT.

then they wanted to watch STRICTLY BALLROOM.

well, give the audience what they want...we say. so simon, waihwang, sebastian and i moped around on the patio for a bit and took some silly pictures...


down boy!

yes, the three of them had wanted to simulate a nekkid serene on the bike.

the poor owner of the bike must have had a fit when he saw this...=)

then we decided to head down to a prata place for teh.

me and my shorts...sigh. thank goodness for the fellas around me. =)

we come back to finally watch SHUTTER - the thai "horror" flick.

and weirong and shingling sat out on that one...though they were still freaked by the sound effects and vibration coming from the living room that they huddled...


heeelp ussssss!

these girls were seriously freaked.

but they're cool. =) *hugs*

a whole night of movies later...here's wayne and i on the swing...


what were you thinking, wayne?!

yes we do look like we just got outta bed, don't we?

but yo...we're brudders yo.

B-R-U-D-D-E-R-S.

then here're the rest of the survivors...after brunch...


bee hoon, chicken and cocktail sausages

and this is what the lack of sleep does to you...


EEEEKKKKSSSS!!!!

incestuous behavior...(think EUROTRIP, the movie)

but yes, it was a beautiful morning.

lying between two guys, seeing one getting molested by a kitty and listening to the sound of rain.

all that was missing was...

a little snuggle.

just a little one. =)

all right.

i get it.

FINE.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

c'mon baby, let's start anew
cuz breaking up is hard to do.

it's time, serene.

you've tried.

i'm so proud of you, girl.

RAIN ON ME

it was about time, i suppose.

i had managed to escape the rain for the past few days but earlier, i stepped outta waihwang's car and man...rained on me.

well drizzled, but still.

i walked home to an empty house, and it's only the first day the roomie's gone.

the rain, the house, at times even the studio, made me feel extremely vacant.

for points of the day, i felt void of emotion.

my only contact with feel was when i was dancing.

and while they were doing stuff in the studio, i was outside...

i try to smile my tears away
i try to keep my cool
oh but one more door gets in my way
i feel like such a fool

trampled and bitter
my heart just wants to bleed and stop
believing in me.

- safe in a crazy world, corrinne may.

i was appalled at how i looked like dancing...when i saw myself in the mirror.

sigh.

but yes, i've come a long way since that night someone said i had no style.

i'm a twit.

i need to know how to stop crying...even if it's in my sleep.

HATE HER

someone's angry at me.

i'm sad that he is, but i can't do nothin' about it.

how can i keep someone from feeling inferior when standing next to me?

anything i've done to make him feel so, it sure wasn't my intention.

ideally, no one should ever allow anyone else to make them feel that way.

but i'm human (shit i hate this...) and i've been made to feel inferior too.

by him.

he doesn't know it...but my self-esteem has been crushed to a minimum.

and that hasn't happened since my days with SIA.

i told daphne that i do not wish for anyone to sing me the song "you're beautiful".

i'd rather have him appreciate it with me.

the week that's past was probably the most difficult time i've had to face alone.

and yet, during that week, the song was knocked into my consciousness.

everywhere i went, i heard it.

every car i got into, the radio played it.

it seems like someone's trying to tell me something.

but, i've thought about it, and...

but it's time to face the truth.
i can never be with you.

no.

when it comes to such matters, no one can have enough power to tell you it's not possible.

anything is possible.

if chicken rice at purvis street on a saturday night was possible, then anything is possible.

i need to believe that.

why can't i?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

"yes, will see u at union. U know something? when i see you eating so heartily that day, i'm really touched and happy - can't tell a reason...even though i'm not a man, but it hurts me to see u getting thinner..."

my darling sister...

thank you for being there for me and helping me make the right choices.

i could never have thought we'd click from the moment we met.

but we did, and it's been quite a ride with you.

love you, ling. =)

Hello there!

Thank you for visiting Caliente@Studio82.

Salsa has been a journey for each of us at Caliente.

We all started salsa at different times and stages of our lives.

By some strange twist of fate though, we came together because of our passion for the dance.

But passion alone never made a voyage less turbulent.

In the past few months, we have fallen in and out of love with each other.

However, one pure and simple love held us together through all those difficult times - salsa.

It is with this purest form of emotion that we want to share with you our journey, ongoing, in the dance.

My dear friends, this is love personified.

And when something is a labor of love, you know you won’t get anything less.

That is our sincere promise to you.

Welcome to our world. =)

Viva la Salsa!

Viva la Caliente!

With a whole lotta heart,
Serene Lim
Principal Instructor
Caliente@Studio82

LET IT GO

no more holding back.

fear has taken another step towards the door.

guy across the table asks, "so serene, what do you do?"

after a moment's confusion, i said, "i teach dancing."

and then i realized what i said, and smiled.

notice that i said "i teach" and not "i manage".

whoever you are, thank you for pushing me to take risks.

and thank you for bringing thomas, jonathan, evelyn and boon cheong my way.

ladies and gentlemen, i present to you...

CALIENTE.

QUE SERA, SERA

i walked by the pool again.

but this time, i didn't cry.

i might've felt like tearing...but i didn't cry.

i looked at the spot where we danced, and the other spot where we sat and gazed at the stars...

...and then i smiled.

and then i saw a lizard run into the lift in front of me, and remembered the time you hugged me and shielded me from it.

i smiled at that too.

so today, for the first time in more than a week, i walked home without crying.

because those were beautiful memories not to be scorned at.

the walk we took back from the indoor stadium was wrecked with emotion and pain, but nevertheless, beautiful in its own way.

so thank you for those memories.

simon, ling and han lim:

thanks for coming over with food, cleaning up and uh...letting me run off before any of you finished watching that reality tv show.

LSG's back and she's stronger than ever. =)

the day went as usual...crying, moping, feeling vulnerable.

then all that just came to a screeching halt.

i was puzzled.

wasn't i feeling miserable just minutes ago?

hmm...

WOOHOO. =)

didn't have many good dances today, but i felt like home.

though what'll stick in my mind for a little while isn't how i got off my ass to dance tonight, or the vulnerability.

what'll stick is the ride on sebastian's bike.

i ended up hugging him for most of the way there...it was pretty darn freaky!

so yeah.

anyways, girls...if you think it's romantic hugging on to the guy biking, just know that you're wearing a helmet. he's wearing a helmet.

there's no way you can stick yourself to him because your...ahem...helmets will collide.

what an experience. =)

and so it is. =)

you know...

the reason i stopped crying suddenly could be the final use-up of whatever energy i had left in my body.

no food to fuel that energy.

perhaps that's the only way to stop it for now.

no energy.

i've fallen. =)

it was s'wonderful, s'marvellous.

except for the part where the arms let out from under me and i smashed facedown onto the cold, marble floor.

from the way things have been going, tears seem to be uncontrollable.

i think i'll just have to let them run its course.

not sure if i can bring myself to dance, even though it's been the only constant in my life.

the pure and simple love for dance has led to such intensity...

just last week, i told waihwang...

"i miss dancing."

he responds...

"and i'm sure the dancefloor misses you as well."

hmm.

i need time to mend my heart before i present myself as serene again.

so i'll see you on the dancefloor...in time.

a friend of mine seems to be going through some shit as well.

boon: for your sake, i hope you're doing better than me in this department.

i don't know how similar our situations are, but you know you've got a friend in me.

and whenever someone breaks your heart, i'll be there to lend you my shoulder.

i, in turn, will try my hardest not to push anyone away.

but if you know me...and you know the stuff that i'm made of, then you know that i'm made of more than nerves, heart and neck.

ahora, yo no tengo un corazon.

pero...

"YOU'RE A TREASURE"

said a friend from last night.

home, home, home
i want to go home.
home is friendly, home is warm
home is shelter from the storm
home is mother holding me
home is where i want to be.

the concept of home has been lost.

i am lost.

but i will find my own way out, thank you very much.

that's enough.

no more moping and letting people fuck around with your mind.

fuck it, serene.

fuck it.

pain pain pain.

little superhero girl has no words.

BUT...

you can all sleep sound tonight,
for i'm not crazy, or anything.

- superman.

if you're want to go out with me now because you want to give her the space to sort out her feelings before you attempt something with her as well...

...then i can't do it.

come down now.

come down, serene.

it's not safe up there...

no really...it'll be fine.

don't be afraid...just take one step...

back down on solid ground.

no more listening to your heart now, you hear?

good girl.

TENGO CORAZON

what were the chances that i'll be at brix today?

what were the odds the live band would play a bachata?

how the hell would anyone expect they'd play "tengo corazon"?

the moment they did though, i looked around me...and found no one.

i walked towards arthur and asked if he could dance it with me.

and while we were just swaying to it...i cried.

right there and then, i cried.

i closed my eyes.

when it ended, arthur thanked me for one of the best bachatas he's ever danced.

and i realized that the best bachatas i've ever danced were those when i was feeling vulnerable and sad.

i'd just shut my eyes, lean on the lead's shoulder and let him lead me.

so thank you, guys, for getting me off my ass and onto the dancefloor today.

thank you wayne, sebastian, for holding me tight during our bachatas.

it seemed like you knew i was going to fall.

but it just became all the more painful because of "chan chan" and "tengo corazon".

it happened again...the crying by the pool.

it's time to come back down to earth now, serene.

all signs seem to be pointing in one direction.

i want but i can't have.

everything i really want, i can't have.

i think i need it, but i have to convert it to a want so it doesn't become more painful to lose.

so yes, i don't suppose i need it.

and i agree. if it's meant to be, then it will be.

but for now i want the experience with you.

i want it.

i won't die without it, but why can't i have what i want this time?

just this one time?

perhaps it's because i always get what i want...

and because the head gets what it wants done, the heart fails.

horribly.

painfully.

lonely.

should the head take over now?

tell me.

you, who's reading.

TELL ME.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

thank you andreas, for having shared this song with me.

i remember sharing this with someone almost instantaneously, and from that day on, had this verse sung to me...

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

james blunt had a tinge of sadness to his voice, and his music video wasn't exactly vague.

but the one time someone caught my heart with this song, was when i walked into this restaurant with waihwang.

the lone guy with his guitar was singing with such angst that it felt real.

i told waihwang that it was a fantastic song. and that the guy's a good singer.

that was the first real time the song set in.

last night...

through the jokes of horrible choices of wedding songs...(they actually played UNBREAK MY HEART at one point during the dinner!) i managed to capture the whole of my favorite "breakfast at tiffany's" song - moon river.

the moment andy williams voice came on, it seemed to rise beyond the crowd's incessant chatter.

i sat back and spaced out for a while, letting the lyrics sink in...

moon river, wider than a mile
i'm crossing you in style, someday
oh dream-maker, you heartbreaker
wherever you're going, i'm going your way

two drifters, off to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see
we're after the same rainbow's end
waiting round the bend

my huckleberry friend
moon river, and me.

the moment it ended, and i stumbled back into reality, i took out my cell, and smsed DP that i want to sing this song at his wedding.

i felt with the song.

there were many occasions i had sat by my window and stared out at the river, watching the moonbeams bounce off its surface.

and i would softly sing the song to myself.

it calmed me, but it also made me wish i had him to hold me as i was sitting there.

it's time to come back down to earth, and not have my head stuck in romantic cloud number 9.

it's time to sit at my own little corner again, and sing the song.

tengo corazon

the moment the couple walked into the room the second time, one song came into my mind.

TENGO CORAZON.

i don't know why, but it did.

i told ashley this was the song i would use.

when han lim and i went into union last night, i felt like the belle of the ball.

people i didn't know came up to tell me i looked "gorgeous".

maybe there was more than wayne who noticed that i lost some mass, but they weren't saying it.

sebastian even said "you must've stole the show at the wedding".

how easy it is to mask pain in the presence of others who are always ready with smiles, compliments, kisses and hugs.

how difficult it is to hold that heightened state of wellbeing through the evening.

estoy muy cansada, y muy triste...

pero estoy muy alegre, tambien.

porque...

...te quiero.

MOON RIVER

the pool drew me in like a whirl.

so as i was walking back to my apartment just about an hour back, i was drawn to a particular area, just by the edge of the pool.

i sat down, breathed in, and it all just started from there.

it wasn't that spot.

it was the whole pool area...

the late-night dances.

i stood up, walked around the area and wept.

until i couldn't breathe no more.

then i sat down at that spot again.

and i stood up, walked to the lift, and headed home.

the pain is becoming increasingly unbearable.

it's day six now.

BABY IT'S YOU

...i've been waiting for all of my life.

- Tootsie.

i managed to spend an hour and a half with him yesterday before we got interrupted.

it was wonderful.

i laid in his embrace...and breathed in his scent.

and right before we parted, i turned around and whispered into the darkness...

"good night baby."

for the first time.

i'm in love. =)

THE DAY THE BELL WENT OFF

emotional vulnerability aside, today was really one of the most dramatic days of my young life...=P

i headed down to the studio at past six and sung my heart out before everyone else came in.

we had a briefing, then our class, then as the class ended and we were about to start a rueda...the fire alarm went off.

uhhuh, it went off all right.

no one touched it, no one broke anything. it just went off...we speculate that the thunderstorm had somehow triggered it.

so we all ran around like headless chickens, trying to call all the numbers on the CISCO box, the locksmith, our friends who were firemen and whoever we knew lah.

i couldn't get thomas, nor his younger sis. the only person who picked up was his youngest sister.

"amy, i can't get your brother, or your sister, the fire alarm just went off, how do i shut it off?" said i.

she said, "you can't get my brother, or my sister, the fire alarm just went off and how do i shut it off?"

i said, "yes, how do you shut it off?"

she said "how did it go off?"

"i don't know! and that's not the point! how do you shut it off?" said an exasperated i.

"did you try to get my brother?" she said.

(i shall halt the conversation log here before you get as iffy as i got...)

after almost 20 minutes of running around and trying to make sense of thomas' smses, we got the alarm to shut up...withouth the locksmith stepping in. phew.

so dear reader, you think the drama is over, don't you?

but no...

as we all left and i was to lock up, the bloody unit door wouldn't lock. and i didn't have the key at for the lock at the bottom, so well...that sucked.

so the few of us went around looking for a cab, but all the cabs were "on call". so we decided to walk to amara to try to get one.

of course, them, being the salsa goons they are, decided to coerce me into going to union.

and so i head into the amara hotel toilet...and realized (GASP!) that i had a major female emergency.

i walked out in an awkward stance and told simon and crystal that i "had an emergency."

well, simon got it after i repeated it a second time.

so i joined the cab queue outside the hotel. 10 mins later, the queue still hasn't moved.

cab companies were engaged, even radio taxi was stalling.

so i got desperate and smsed my roomie...

me: hey girl, are you still out?

jac: home, crazy weather. where are you?

me: stuck at amara, having a female emergency, long cab queue, cab companies engaged. =(

jac: you wait i come and get you.

me: thanks! and uh...please bring newspaper or a plastic bag...

so once again, it's roomie j to the rescue.

i swear i would've broken down in the cab queue because i felt so miserable.

thanks to jac though, i got through that bit of the night without tears.

so thomas calls me after i get home and he says he was at a stand-up comedy club when the fire alarm fiasco went off.

the moment he described a certain "red box" to me over the phone, the whole club went silent.

apparently, the crowd was staring at him, and heard him say "the red box" rather loudly.

so he opted to sms me instead.

what an adventurous day for caliente-ites.

i think the adventure is enough to last me for a week. =P

hmm.

i never thought of clearing out smses as hard work.

until today.

me: for a moment today, i felt like dancing tonight...

cole: ah..things are improving

me: yeah...because i feel like i need to reconnect with my passion again. don't wanna get too caught up in business matters. and i know for a fact that when i'm dancing, i feel exhilarated.

cole: yeah..

me: oh my gosh...coleman...i just fell in love again =) the memories of dancing...perked me right up...made me smile

cole: =)

ONLY HOPE

There's a song that's inside of my soul...

he told me to write a song out of my pain.

all i want to do now is to lie in my studio, breathe in the spice of the flooring and take it all in.

i want to stay grounded in my studio.

i want to stay grounded to my passion.

i will sing my heart out today.

and i will survive this.

because i've already survived the biggest break-up a year back..this is chicken feed.

I AM ALIVE.

Serene: Huh? What hen's night? I don't know your wife, shy lah!

Jason: You shy, I become priest already.

Serene: Yeah what...I not shy meh?

Jason: You shy, I become celibate for life, okay?

Serene: Wah lau.

Jason: Wah lau yourself.

thanks, DP, for making me laugh at 0220hrs on a thursday morning.

JUST ONE

the flowers you gave me, i kept by my window
the picture you gave me, i kept by my bed
they used to have such magical powers
they used to make up that piece in my head

i'd start the morning by gazing at those flowers
i'd smile at the picture before leaving the house
they gave me such strength to carry on the day
they gave me such love that i wouldn't stray

BUT...

the flowers have withered
the picture has faded
they no longer hold the love that you had

they're merely momentos of painful occasions
now stained with tears, blood and unreciprocated love.

find me a flower that would take this pain away
find me a picture i can look at and say
"someone i love gave me this and he loves me right back."

it may seem easy-peasy for someone like me
to find another flower, another picture, another kiss
but i'd trade whatever i had for this...

...one flower that's withered, one picture that's faded.

god only knows.

you know...he gave me a hug today.

normally, i'd relish it...because a hug is comforting.

but today, i simply had to push him away because i didn't want to cry in his arms.

i shoo-ed him off onto the bus and cried my way home.

alone.

he didn't see me cry.

thank god.

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

you know that pact you made to each other that wherever you might be, regardless of time, place or space, you'd be there for each other when one needs another?

someone's just reminded me of that...

thank you, cole, for being there.

SERENE'S CHOICE

?little superhero girl says: (10:55:05 AM)
and waihwang...i woke up this morning feeling very heavy, but once i yanked myself outta bed...

little superhero girl says: (10:55:17 AM)
i saw the clock move...

little superhero girl says: (10:55:23 AM)
everything else around me was still running...

little superhero girl says: (10:55:28 AM)
life goes on =)

little superhero girl says: (10:55:45 AM)
i know where i stand in this, where i should stand in this

skating_panda says: (10:56:04 AM)
u made up your mind?

little superhero girl says: (10:56:11 AM)
just this morning, rather

little superhero girl says: (10:56:28 AM)
i'm a friend, a semi-employer...

skating_panda says: (10:56:33 AM)
ok. That should make things easier for u

little superhero girl says: (10:56:41 AM)
the studio is MY BABY...

little superhero girl says: (10:56:55 AM)
and i have the best team (to my knowledge)

little superhero girl says: (10:57:51 AM)
so i want to preserve my team.

skating_panda says: (10:58:17 AM)
tat's a pretty big sacrifice u know?

little superhero girl says: (10:58:34 AM)
my top priority is the school...

little superhero girl says: (10:58:37 AM)
other matters can wait

little superhero girl says: (10:58:46 AM)
and frankly, i don't know why my head let my heart take over for a while

little superhero girl says: (10:58:56 AM)
wrong timing...haha

little superhero girl says: (10:59:19 AM)
remember waihwang...i have never quite known friends until i joined salsa...

little superhero girl says: (10:59:40 AM)
so i treasure the bond we share...and do not wish to spoil it with relationship issues

skating_panda says: (11:01:07 AM)
hmm... I know it feels like

little superhero girl says: (11:02:09 AM)
that's why i need time to regroup...it may be a decision i made today, but to actually swallow it thru and thru...i need time alone and away from them

skating_panda says: (11:02:45 AM)
yah..... how are u going to do that?

little superhero girl says: (11:03:22 AM)
don't meet up unnecessarily...go back to my long walks alone for a while to sort things out

little superhero girl says: (11:03:45 AM)
i was supposed to be jamming tonight with a band...but i don't think i'm in the right frame of mind...haha...

skating_panda says: (11:03:46 AM)
but Serene, you will feel extremely lonely and rather painful later......

little superhero girl says: (11:03:48 AM)
or maybe i should

skating_panda says: (11:04:04 AM)
I think you should

little superhero girl says: (11:04:40 AM)
waihwang...it will pass

little superhero girl says: (11:05:02 AM)
and then the sun will shine

after all, i got out of bed today, didn't i? =)

good morning world.

"Go to her," she said.

He thrust his head into his palms and wept, too confused to articulate what he felt.

"Go to her, because you feel for her," she added.

the story of my life.

at times, i wish i were as incapacitated as william fitzpatrick.

he could tell everyone how he was the handsomest in his family, while limping down the path to the hut which housed the pigs.

i'd help him latch onto his crutches.

i'd take him for his showers, dress him, and put him into bed.

william, who refused to be known as "bill".

he, who smiled when i presented him with a birthday cookie i baked.

i wish i could be william for an instant.

i wish i could smile when someone gives me with a present.

i need to learn a lesson or two from william, who, with cerebral palsy and has been abandoned by his parents, always has a ready smile for me regardless of the pain he feels deep down.

i miss you, william.

and all of our favorite things.

HOW SWEET IT IS

sings Marvin Gaye.

To be loved by you.

i should be so lucky...haha.

in some odd way, i wish some dark knight would sweep me off my feet and onto his stallion, and tell me (while riding in the wind)...

"you are capable of creating love, and i now love you because i am capable of loving you."

that would be the day. =)

right now though, i'd have to settle with guys asking themselves 50 times if they can possibly love me.

eight outta ten would probably decide to give it up and head for an easier catch.

where are you, two-outta-ten?

FREEDOM

torn and twisted still
but somewhere within that chaos
i've found my peace.

and it is with this peace
that i'll share my passion
and let love not get in the way.

or should i?

love has always been the root of it.

love will always be the root of it.

i love you, salsa.

i cannot promise to love you forever, but i will love you for as long as i can.

but even then, you will still own that part of my heart.

AH...

the heart's still twisted, but the head's just started doing the talking.

i feel liberated at the concept of opening myself up to the boundless possibilities and even more so when i've laid all my cards out on the table.

though when you lay everything (including your heart) out, there's bound to be some damage done.

my heart has been trampled on tonight.

actually, it's been stuffed upon many times in the last couple of weeks.

but guess what?

i'm still here.

and i will be here for a long while to come.

i survived tonight.

and that should honor a celebration. =)

CORNER OF THE SKY

Everything has its season
Everything has its time
Show me a reason and I'll show you a rhyme
Cats fit on the windowsill
Children fit in the snow
Why do I feel I don't fit in anywhere I go?

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky

Every man has his daydreams
Every man has his goals
People like the way dreams have of sticking to the soul
Thunderclouds have their lightning
Nightingales have their song
And don't you see I want my life to be something more than long

So many men seem destined
To settle for something small
But I won't rest until I know I'll have it all
So don't ask where I'm going
Just listen when I'm gone
And far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn

So maybe some misty day, you'll
Waken to find me gone
And far away, you'll
Hear me singing to the dawn

And you'll wonder if I'm happy there
A little more than I've been
And the answer will come back to you
Like laughter on the wind

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirits can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky

- Pipin

DANCE WITH ME

here're some funny shit shots taken last friday night...


muy caliente!

the team with the steam.


ride wit me

it was fun taking this shot. =)

jonathan didn't know what pose to execute so i got him to do this...


jon and i

and because thomas was stalling with the camera, jon's legs started getting wobbly. =S


my other favorite picture

i love being dipped.

philbie wanted to get in on the act too...


my woman and me

ONE VOICE

Just one voice
Singing in the darkness
All it takes is one voice
Singing so they hear what's on your mind
And when you look around you'll find...

There's more than one voice.

if only things could be this way.

just one voice, reflecting the views of the many standing with their hands on my shoulder.

though in the cold, harsh world of business, no one trusts each other that much anymore to let that one voice take control.

there's only one salvation...

friendship.

but if it doesn't work out, then...

maybe i'll have to look for another form of salvation.

PORQUE

something's gotta give.

maybe i'm that something.

but my heart just won't let me, because i've been doing this my entire life.

why can't i just be selfish for once...

...just that once in my life when i can take care of myself, and look after my own well-being?

why do i have to give?

I'M SUCH A WRECK NOW.

maybe taking up the studio isn't such a good idea after all.

i had hoped we'd grow stronger through it, but it doesn't seem to be happening.

the past two weeks have been a mess.

i had kept mum about being horribly stressed out, and hearing other people out.

i thought perhaps they had just wanted to unload their stress verbally, so it might make them feel better.

i didn't want to speak because i had no intention of comparing stress loads.

but it turned out i was their outlet...and for me...

i had no outlet.

when once, dance was my solace and the dance studio my blessing, it is now a burden...weighing on friendship and professionalism.

i have always taken pride in my professionalism. people who know me know that.

so when daphne asked if there was one thing i had to choose - between studio and friendship...

i chose the latter.

i chose the latter.

i chose the latter.

i'm in so much pain.

my heart is literally twisted into knots.

HELP ME.

PLEASE.

DRUMROLL....

and once again...

***********************************
Hello again friends!

Thank you so much for your overwhelming support these weeks as we gear up for our first trial classes. =)

Because you've been so absolutely sweet to us and introducing scores of friends into our midst, we'd like to extend our trial sessions by a week!

Here're the details:

Who: Oh come on...you know who! We want more of you and your friends!

What: FREE Salsa Trial Lessons for Beginners...get ready to shake your booty...;)

When: Thursday, 27th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm. Friday, 28th October 2005, 7.30pm-8.30pm and 8.30pm-9.30pm.

Where: Studio 82 on Amoy Street, Level 2. Caliente's on the same stretch of the entrance to Ann Siang Hill Park and the little temple right next to the Amoy Food Center. Go through the door on the side, head up to the second floor, and Caliente's on your left!

Why: Because we want to share our passion with you...=)

How: Just email us your name, email address and contact number to caliente.studio82@gmail.com. Bring your friends along with you!

Slots are available on a first-come-first-serve basis, so email to book your spots early.

Please feel free to drop me a note if you've got questions. =)

Love,
Serene Lim
Principal Instructor
Caliente@Studio82

FOR THE FIRST TIME

i got through it. =)

my first night teaching...

exhilarating.

I'VE BEEN TO SEE THE KING!

well, not quite.

but i came quite close, as far as singapore politics go.

i spent saturday morning with the president, and the evening with the prime minister.

so for all you voyeurs out there, here's us at the istana...=)


bubba and i at the foyer

we were all waiting for the staff picture, but it didn't come through, so we had to make do with snapping pics of ourselves.

we then raced all the way to the front of the stateroom...


none of us dared to sit down

i think this has to be one of my favorite pics from the istana.

it wasn't until we were strolling out of the stateroom that we were told we weren't supposed to take pictures there...eeks.

and here's the imperial lawn...


basking in the sun, at last!

i was telling bubba of how the lawn alarms would go off if anyone were to step on the carpet grass...a la The Princess Diaries.


if only i lived here...not!

and then our final picture before we had to hop into the scout van...


camera whores are us...

unfortunately, my camera was locked up at the supreme court entrance so i didn't get to take a pic with the PM.

maybe next year then. =)