i have a performance tonight.

and here i am, sitting by my dining table, bawling my eyes out for something i swore i would wash my hands off.

this is about the only thing that's pissing me off these days. even shit from school does not match up to this.

i'm so fucking angry that i can't even find the words to describe the situation.

I WILL NOT BE MADE TO FEEL LIKE I SHOULD DO THIS, OR THAT, JUST BECAUSE I SHOULD.

WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE?

i've lost all my respect for them. ALL OF IT.

so fucking insular. contradictory. self-centered.

maybe i'm just not the marrying kind. in that much i myself am self-centered.

fucking nonsense.

gibberish for a fucked up mind.

i have no excuse to run away now though.