I DON'T KNOW MUCH

he seems like a little boy most times, yet grows up within seconds when he senses something's off.

and when someone tells you this...

"everyday i find something new about you that makes me love you more, and i feel closer to you everyday"

you look to the sky and say...

"i must've done something right."

CONSTANT CRAVING

it's been five years since i left school.

my life's been so fluid.

even family life was.

not that i'm hoping to change all that.

i like surprises and embrace the unexpected.

but i'm feeling a sense of normalcy descending upon me.

not routine, but a semblance of optimistic living.

i have a feeling that family will soon become the one true constant in my life.

DRAWING BLOOD

training and accidentally hurting someone you love (in the process) sucks.

=(

i'm sorry baby.

i'll be good to you, okay? =P

THE LONG-LEGGED LION

the weekend came and passed so swiftly, filled with great company and bliss.

saturday was his brother's wedding - the bittersweet culmination of many a stressful night of the parents and him, i'm sure.

weddings usually test the nerves of the family, and couple.

personally, family opinion matters to me.

though that may be because i know my family is open-minded enough to try out new deals and what i may suggest (because i've proven my competency through the years).

for the more traditional families around, a wedding is not simply just an event for the couple, but one for family and family's friends and business associates.

there was a time i thought if ever i would get married and plan for my own wedding, i'd keep it small, quiet and intimate.

of course, some people (you know who you are) had to remind me of my various associations/committments and i knew a small setting would not be possible.

but...i've realized an interesting way to get everyone involved. =)

you'll find out if i ever get married.

poetry in motion, earth angel, can't help falling in love.

songs that stuck from the johnny tillotson concert saturday night...a much needed chill-out for us.

we totally dug being sat right in the middle of old fogeys you'd think would be too docile to get up and boogie...NOT.

i grinned in wonder and delight at how unabashed these people are in their 50s and 60s.

i was pleasantly surprised to see and hear of couples who've been married for as long as 40 years in the audience.

the concert was a little too short for my liking, though we really appreciated being able to bask in the splendor of the esplanade concert hall for a while after a day of hustle bustle.

the right combination, beautiful in my eyes.

another two songs which flitted into conversation in the car.

elements of convention linger in our time together, yet it doesn't run the course of a new relationship.

i feel guilty for voicing out how everything could go wrong...and worry that one day, he will get extremely tired of trying to reassure me.

he's the self-confessed optimist - mostly seeing the best in people and thinking how things could go right.

our differences sometimes seem glaring enough to make me want to take a step back, but i often find myself rooted on that spot, not being able to move.

maybe i just don't want to move.

maybe i just want to stand right there and hope for some sort of optimism to save me from plunging into runaway pessimism.

but i know he's the gravity that holds me still for now.

i'm just a fool, a fool in love with you.

BEAUTIFUL IN MY EYES

chanced up this joshua kadison number on my way in to work...=)

You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.
You're everything I've tried to find, your love is a pearl.
You're my Mona Lisa, you're my rainbow skies,
and my only prayer is that you realize
you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

The world will turn and the seasons will change,
and all the lessons we will learn will be beautiful and strange.
We'll have our fill of tears, our share of sighs.
My only prayer is that you realize
you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.
And the passing years will show
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.

When there are lines upon my face from a lifetime of smiles,
and when the time comes to embrace for one long last while,
we can laugh about how time really flies.
We won't say goodbye 'cause true love never dies.
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

kinda makes sense, doesn't it? =)

I GOT SUNSHINE

queasy tummy, spinning head, burning body, cold skin.

i thought i was suffering from food poisoning.

and you know whats the worst thing?

i couldn't expel anything out of my body...not through regurgitation or otherwise.

and the above was only one of the contributing factors to a horrible monday.

so in essence, the day sucked.

but a couple of msn conversations made my day, especially one with a person who highlighted a very special date.

*shrugs*

not that i really know where all this is heading.

perhaps my subconscious is choosing to filter out the seemingly obvious.

then again, nothing's really that obvious anymore unless it's blatantly put out there.

that said, i'd prefer to talk in circles around this topic. =)

(hmm...since when did i become so wishy-washy...*frown*)

it's been three coolness weeks...and counting.

i know how he feels about me because he tells me and translates those emotions in very simple terms...like...

"you make me happy."

or...



that's enough for me.

but i couldn't quite seem to articulate myself in the same way.

how can i thank someone for saving me with such pure and unadulterated affection?

i can't.

here's what i know though...

i want to hold his nose for him when he sneezes.

i want to bring him a piece of fried mars bar and pint of chocolate overload ice cream to cheer him up.

i want to let him hold my hand in a roomful of people we both know, without flinching.

and let him serenade me whenever he wants. =)

hell, i'd even take in retro for him. (like, seriously!)

yes, that's all i know, for now.

we spent sunday apart.

he was moving and i was having a nice afternoon with my brother and the family.

but we never quite left each other...or at least that's what the sprinkles of smses throughout the day said.

the brother and i went for lunch and i absolutely loved his t-shirt...



gotta love fear factor merchandise. =)

then i spotted this while browsing through gramophone racks...



brings me back to the time when i used to fly to zurich.

i would shut myself up in my room, lie in bed with a pack of chips and watch reruns of the pink panther and scooby doo.

the pink panther is a stroke of genius, i tell you.

but i'm not sure how many would appreciate its humor. =P

it must be quite an institution since it's so freakin' expensive.

on a different vein,

i got into some "stock market" banter with him.

would you buy into a stock if the prospects look good?

or would you buy into a sure thing?

i ventured that i wasn't into growth stocks because i'm risk-averse.

but his recommendation seemed to make enough sense.

maybe it's time to take some risks. =)

and considering how this post was accidentally deleted thrice...

i'd say i did pretty good.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THEE

let me count the ways...

with a diamond ring?

with an alaskan cruise?

with a home entertainment system?

let me cash that in for...

two ring pops.

two rubber floats.

and a set of monopoly.

and if we've got some left over, perhaps two front row tickets to see the wizard of oz.

or...

let's just keep it in the college fund.

RAIN

i think jazz and i are not fated to be for now. =(

for both this week and next, i'll have to help the boss out.

i may just need to re-jig my priorities soon.

i saw myself to be a rather insensitive priss yesterday.

and i'm sorry.

truly i am...and you know how i am about sorries.

i can only do from now on.

(you can only imagine how self-centered i am from the number of 'i's in this post.)

JOURNEY

it's funny how someone can fit in so seamlessly.

i don't know if i do, but he sure does.

and mom had a huge smile on her face talking to me about him today, so that pretty much does it for parental support.

sweet mommy.

i hesitate to post the pictures we took recently because it includes others besides ourselves.

so i shall accord them their privacy and stick to just US. =)

he snapped a pic of me looking extremely BLUR...



which me and some others felt looked U-G-L-Y.

but wh said i look like some anime blur queen character and said i should use it as my avatar.

bah.

i really preferred this one...



and our indulgence...



eric...

thank you...

for asking me to dance.

for chatting with me through your coach rides as you traveled.

for taking me to dinner.

for bringing me back a canadian husky.

for butting out.

for sticking around.

for holding on.

and for being so honest about it all.

thank you for having wanted and wanting to be with me.

i miss you already.

EARTH ANGEL

i held up quite a front today.

and now that i'm back in my own little corner, i can release what i held back all the way through the car ride home.

maybe i'm just tired.

IT'S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

or so the boss sings.

the rain seemed pretty insistent on its rhythm, pattering on the skylight at consistent intervals.

amplifying as if reaching some kind of denouement.

and then ceasing as we get too caught up in its heavy set.

the rain seems to feel me.

it settled on me like a lover, unabashed at its intensity.

drawing my energy and leaving me a heap on the cold, hard floor.

i whimpered as i came home.

because i felt cold, and hot and messed.

the hot shower and soup didn't help.

and now, i find myself obliviating in the darkness of my room.

unfeeling my sheets.

and then...

writing how i feel about the rain.

OUR HOUSE

i ate two dinners today.

this can't happen too often...*burp*.

it was an interesting evening, ending with a semi-spontaneous dinner with the family.

i wonder if he'd one day discover how boring i am.

how REALLY boring i am.

compared to him.

NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW

the mother just did her routine "if my daughter's home i'm gonna waltz into her room, show off my new hairdo and talk to her" bit.

of course, after last night's spontaneous "can he come too" dinner, i was sure she was going to grill me on him.

not much grilling, just sharing how she and the father felt.

much to my surprise (because i was sure they'd think it'd be too soon), they seem to like him.

and she left it as that.

i mused that he looks like dad in his olden days of schoolboy geekiness.

my dad then went "oi" and my mom laughed and said "no lah, he's better looking".

to which my dad gave another "oi".

my parents kill me. they do. =)

apparently, his mom said some rather interesting things about me too.

and in one short week...

someone used the word "innocent" on me today.

i was appalled.

though from his contextual explanation, i could see why.

he ventured that i wouldn't stay single for long.

i so detested that...because it was like a challenge to prove him wrong. or myself. i don't know.

but the guy did it.

i'm not sure how, but considering how "innocent" i am, i'm probably not that tough to get to.

though instead of dwelling on that one word and how it may have implicated me into this...couplehood...i was rather taken by the "why let something good pass by" comment.

agreed, panda.

this could be the start of something new.

on a lighter note, the title song played on two occasions we were in the car.

i'm not known for mushiness, but i LOVE rick price. and i love this song.

Soft as a rainbow
Like stardust and moonglow
I see the love in your eyes
Like autumn leaves falling
And the first call of morning
It came to my surprise
True love calls just once in a lifetime
Why should we wait
When now is the right time?

Nothing can stop this love we're making
Nothing can stand in our way
Nothing can block this road we've taken
Nothing can stop us now

The joy of surrender
So strong yet so tender
I give my heart to you
You know you can trust me
And that's how it must be
No matter what we do
Faithful friends and lovers forever
Right to the end we'll always be together

When love comes sweetly to your door
Embrace completely
What your soul is longing for

THE BEST OF MY LOVE

the eagles always seem to do it for me.

once, my favorite used to be "love will keep us alive".

it's still "desperado" (the emi fujita version). =)

i've had several late nights recently, not out at fancy clubs or restaurants or cafes.

but in a car, under my block.

i appreciate honest conversation.

this is enough to bring out the best of me.

oh...sweet darling
you got the best of my love.

ALL THAT JAZZ

i'm physically spent.

so even after i've just eaten my bowl of maggi mee, i can't help but just prop myself into bed.

other than the fatigue carried forward through the week, i suspect the jazz class earlier had a lot to do with releasing all that stress.

not that we danced a lot.

we just stretched aplenty, including parts i didn't know existed.

i loved it. =)

on another note, many people made my day...and got me through the long hours.

it's going to be a long friday ahead as well.

i want to crumble for a while.

CHAPTER ONE

i must thank the photographer for the following pictures.

few people have managed to capture a presentable, candid me.

but he did it. =)

thanks, eric.


me and aloysius in starting pose

chin and boon were standing in front.

we weren't very comfy, as you could tell.

the stage was rather rough for my liking...


rest time

i like this pose cuz it afforded me rest for a count of eight. =P


workshop time

a few of caliente students were sweet enough to come down for a look...and to thank them, i sabo-ed them for the workshop session.

of course, they were as late for class as i was...and were giving me the "i'm gonna get you later" look the whole time.

but it was all worth it. =)


urban clap in the city

this picture epitomizes our performance in the middle of the city. =)

i love it.


emily, mina, fernando, maria, me, ernesto, chantel, james and melissa

it's so fun to have these people teach you about their culture while you teach them a dance you'd think they know.


we do love to pose, don't we?

these housewives live more interesting lives than some of us.


fernando, james and ernesto

the husbands are HILARIOUS.

i said they all improved exponentially during this last session. =)

fernando is maria's hubby, james is melissa's and ernesto is with chantel.

i'm tired, but i realized recently that i really love teaching.

p.s: thanks for the photographs, mr teo.

EMBARGO LIFTED

if it ain't spontaneous and fun, it ain't done by serene. =)

as usual, my gig at the istana was anything BUT follow-the-script. =P

a pity the aide-de-camp and i didn't much time to catch up, else i would've arranged an evening for us to meet at union.

so here're some pics of the usual suspects at the istana...


me, mr yeo and bubba

the first picture i took of the evening turned out pretty well.

mr yeo always attacks the durian mousse with a vengeance at every one of these events. hmm...maybe he's the one who did the catering!


me and malcolm

malcolm used to be state coroner.

he gave a "mr president, we will serve you" speech which had most of us...umm...wondering if he got that quip from "all the president's men".


our token picture at the istana

me and my best scout friend/brother, who's my partner-in-crime for most of the events.

ask me to tell you the story of us fated friends.

check out that cheeky face!


the professionals

we wondered why we were called upon to help out at such events.

turns out we're the only 3 girl scouts represented, save for 1 who was getting the badge.

and some call us the professional posers, since tunisia. haha...mel and i take it as a compliment.


eric and me

have never seen eric quite this dressed up.

it was quite a coincidence he was a guest at this PSA event i emceed.

at the end of it all, we both weren't spared the bad jokes and teasing.

let the fun begin.