yes...cordial's the word.

i have a cordial relationship with the devil...which is more than what anyone else can claim to have...haha.

i'm finally able to look him in the eye and talk to him without feeling apologetic or as if i owe him anything.

today, i've totally regained my independent streak. miss bitch i am!

actually, if i were a third party to this whole saga, i'd probably feel the sting of my words to him - the devil.

enough of the devil. he's not worth so much blog space.

the morning was slow...and it was made even slower by the song and dance session. i'm glad at least some pple like AHM took to the music well though...so it wasn't a total waste of time after all.

i had intended for a "what do you wanna be when you grow up" session with the scouts, but decided to do a "whose line" on them. it was kinda fun...though i could probably make them more familiar with such sessions and be more expressive before throwing more radicalism their way.

angus and mark know about the sstt...and grover. there are times when they ask how my "baby" is...and by that, they'd be referring to grover. and i can never really answer that question fully...because i simply can't find the right words to describe him.

he's special. and so are cookie, elmo, ernie, bert and big bird.

today, i managed to hug them all...except for bert, because he had to rush off, and i was in the middle of my session with the scouts.

there are times when i feel a connection with grover. there are times i don't. i didn't quite feel it today. instead, i felt a "don't come near me" vibe.

and so, i felt guilty because i was doing something behind his back. i sincerely hope that he wouldn't get angry with me when he finds out what i've done.

just when i was sure he just wanted to keep away from me today, he sent me an awfully sweet message.

"i remember something. maybe i can spend the 21st of march 0000hr with you. haha...because of the performance. happy? bleah."
that message just warmed my heart.

from the moment the devil got up the van to the moment before i received that message, i hardly smiled.

the moment i read that...i'm sure cookie could see how my face lit up.

it wasn't so much of how he so wanted to spend that day with me. it was more of him suddenly thinking of it out of the blue. with all the shit he's been through in the past few days, how he could even think of the birthday thing is beyond me...

all i remember from the past week are the warm hugs.

the devil can stay in hell. i'm taking the elevator up to ground zero...and living life. for reals.