i'm tempted to simply narrate yesterday's happenings, but i'll hold that thought until i'm done with trying to verbalize a few thoughts.

they knew that no matter how happy i seemed during the day, i'd be sure to cry at night...and so, we all went home relatively early, and i was left physically alone to savor the last couple of hours on the 21st of March 2004.

and savor i did.

i replayed the day backwards, starting from dinner...working all the way back to the morning when i met cookie and grover.

everything reeled out like a dream.

at the end of the day, my birthday WAS spent differently.

was i glad? of course. but it wasn't because i had so many people around me on the day. it was because of the underlying care and effort these people made to make the day work out.

if there was ever a project the sstt succeeded in pulling off, this was it. yesterday was synergy at its best.

and i don't care what people say about us being crap. if they could experience yesterday, they'd be compelled to admit how wrong they were to think of us like that.

i have to admit my mind wandered off at times during the day...wondering how the day would be like without them, or how i would've spent the day if there weren't any plans. the thing that kept replaying in my head for most of the day was that someone standing under the opposite block, staring at grover and me after we parted from a hug.

nightmarish as it was, nothing could compare to what happened that very same night. that account will come later this evening.

yesterday was amazing. but again, it opened up ports to so many rooms of thought...and pain.

it's the pain of loving.

if love is such a wonderful feeling, and if love is pain as well, does this mean that pain is a wonderful feeling?

my babies love me. and i love them.

so bring on the pain if you must hyde...cuz you know i ain't letting up.