finally...a quiet moment to write before my lids shut for the next few hours.

he so tried to make me smile today...and was trying to pacify me even when i kept insisting i wasn't pissed.

it felt funny to have my baby brother trying to make my day, when i knew exactly how he was feeling deep down.

there's a marked difference in the way he behaved today...and that's what made me shut up and observe for a bit.

it might not have been obvious, but i know...

when i saw the names of those who worked with him in years past on the spreadsheet, i remembered what he told me about his group of scouts.

and i feel somewhat guilty, contributing to the sudden rush of bittersweet memories by mentioning the great singapore picnic.

you knew i was going to cry yesterday. similarly, i had an inkling you were gonna cry tonight.

this is the point where we embrace each other and help each other through the long night.

where are you?

and where am i to embrace you?