grover's a special kid.

he's got such a cool exterior that hardly anyone actually bothers to know him.

hardly anyone bothers to look into his eyes...and witness the cracks of vulnerability.

he's very much a small kid at heart - full of insecurities, afraid that people would hate him if they knew who he really was, and masking all that with a sunshiney personality.

quite recently though, he's gotten somewhat tired of even trying. while he hasn't become a grouch overnight, there are times when he falls into sullenness. but it would figure that if he knew someone was watching him, he would perk himself immediately.

frankly, i'm afraid to look into his eyes. i try to, but most times, i can't last for more than a couple of seconds.

i hate looking into people's eyes just like that because i feel totally exposed...like, the moment i allow them to get through to my eyes, i'd be down.

so i'm wondering...why would someone like him even DARE to look into my eyes? isn't he afraid of the tsunami of cynicism?

how can a "cold-hearted bitch" (as my mom puts it) be afraid of looking into a 16-year-old's eyes?

sigh...things would definitely be much easier if you'd all just let me stay that bitch.

but oh well...nobody said it was a bed of roses...the sstt.