it's much easier than i thought it would be...coping with not seeing my baby, and the rest of the sstt.

i'm so in the mode that even when he said that he'd let me know tomorrow if we could meet for a while, i said to forget about it.

the oddest thing is...when he tells me he loves me and misses me, i feel close to...

NOTHING.

and that scares the hell outta me.

isn't absence supposed to make the heart grow fonder? or would it be "out of sight, out of mind" in my case?

baby baby...i hope we'll still be as close when we meet two weeks later. We won't have seen each other for a month, and that's something.

these days, i feel so caught up in my own world that i almost feel guilty for not seeing how the rest are doing.

this saturday, i'm gonna head down to the esplanade and get myself some inspiration. or at least something for me to fill the elders in on sunday. i'm quite fucked up. it's not that i don't have ideas...but they're just not big enough...

i really am losing my ability to feel. sigh.

on the flip side, i do feel an ache if he doesn't msg me to tell me he's doing okay.

that ain't so bad now, is it?