COME TO MY WINDOW

i remember telling my mom once how happy i was that the boyfriend and i could spend time together with each other's family.

to which she asked if we would spend some time back at our home as well.

and i said "of course".

i haven't.

and i do feel guilty.

truth is that i spend quite a bit of time at his place...partially because there is more space and perhaps, more privacy.

the most likely reason is i just want to spend time with him, so i'll just try to go wherever he goes.

i do want to spend time at home, but i feel slightly awkward asking him to hang at my place.

like today...i had thought of heading home to pack so i wouldn't have to worry about hurriedly dumping clothes into the suitcase just before i leave for macau early saturday.

it took me a lot of pondering before i could even broach the subject of him coming over.

and even as he said yes, i withdrew for a while and asked myself if i should just leave him be with his free evening, and i just head home myself.

argh. i don't know.

guess those seemingly passing comments do stick enough to make me think twice about asking him to hang with me at my home.

i do love being with him at his place.

but i did believe the scenario to be my answer to mom's question.

now i don't know.

home.

i'm split. well, sorta.