today reminded me of the stuff yen and i talked about in the cab wednesday night.

she told me that the people who read my blog are usually very worried about me, because although i insist that it's "just writing", the words are poignant enough to hit home. she's right, i guess. my writing may not be prose or such, but i don't know...i guess the people who do read this are those who kinda know what i've been through, and so, know which words or lines to read between.

i also talked to her about grover, and how special he is to me. after all that i said, she told me that it's hard to understand our relationship. it's like...our feelings for each other are so strong that it could even surpass those of a normal romantic one. i told her i found our bond slightly unsettlling as well at first, but wrote it off as an unconditional sorta love later. i call this an unconditional love because i still don't understand it. i'm sure everyone else around us doesn't understand it either. the most innocent party though...could. maybe.

so baby, if you know what this is about, tell sis okay?

this afternoon, grover smsed that he didn't know what to wear to meet us. after i told him to just "wear anything" but make sure he wouldn't feel cold in the cinema, he smsed back.

"baby wanted to say even if i am cold in the cinema, i will still have jie to keep me warm ;)"

it truly warmed my heart...that sms.

then angus asks if i'd "convince him that going out with an older woman isn't so bad" after he grows up...man, i got such a shock from him even mentioning it. i kept shaking my head and saying "i'm not that sorta person"...and he just grinned.

on hindsight, it's probably a good sign that i had such a violent reaction.

this proves that he truly is my precious baby brother.

no matter how turbulent the week may be, the moment he calls me "jie", everything comes to a standstill...for a while. i take a deep breath, hold on to the moment, before i go on with the daily rush.

today was good. but i also get the feeling that today is the last day i'd have grover sleeping with his head on my shoulder like that...for a long time to come. the next two weeks will be total mayhem for the lot of us...and while i'm looking forward to keeping myself busy, i also realize that i'm looking forward to that partially because i wouldn't have time to myself to think too much.

in essence, i would be too busy to miss my baby's hugs...elmo's laughter...cookie's witty reparte...ernie's cheeky grin...big bird's attempts at making me smile...

i'm thinking too much again, aren't i?

sweet innocence kissed me on my cheek today. many, many times.