THIS IS THE MOMENT

at last a quiet moment to reflect on the craziness that's been my life for the past few days.

first things first, a recount of sunday.

and to describe the experience in one word - NERVEWRECKING.


apprehension

the stage was fine, the crowd was fine, but with judges scrutinizing you and the waiting for your turn...not cool.

after i was asked to stop singing, the first judge (zheng zhan lun) said i shouldn't have chosen the song because it was too big for me and that i should choose something that's more my range.


from left to right: jimmy ye (partially covered), zheng zhan lun, snr producer 1, snr producer 2, image consultant addy lee.

the next judge (a senior producer) asked if i could dance.

now this guy was in my first audition (yes the one i got kicked out of after being asked tons of questions about myself), so he knew i taught dance.

and i did some shines. they seemed to like it.


with a hop and a skip

zheng zhan lun told me not to choose songs that are too big for my voice and jimmy ye said i must learn to move with the music.

of course, the senior producer guy told me i HAD to improve on my mandarin. =P

and then i got in. =)


it was the green light OR the buzzer

that bit was exhilarating...but i was a little put off by this woman who told me off for asking how the studio lighting was going to be like.

i mean...i wanted to ask because i can then gauge how much make up to put on (so i don't look pale).

her response was "where got people ask this kind of thing one? you should just put on up to your own knowledge."

i'm like..."HUH?!"

then the guy who was briefing me quipped "aiyah she's a professional mah...needs to know lighting so she can gauge mah."

geez.

of course, there were the friends and family who made it all the more worthwhile.

i probably wouldn't have gone for the initial auditions if not for simon and wh's prodding.

and to eric for offering to ferry me to the venue.

and to shingling, daphne and weirong for offering those kind words. =)


the salsa crew

my scouters who've always showed me unconditional care, regardless of how i've somewhat drifted away from the group due to my other committments.


the immediate and scout families

i want to thank everyone who believes in me, for reals.

fame and fortune isn't what i actively seek.

and when i was told that i come across as materialistic and uppity sometime ago, i got a little down.

but then, someone who i hadn't spoke to very often said he senses i'm doing all this upping of profile and all for a bigger purpose.

for what exactly, i don't know.

but rest assured that it isn't the recognition and money i'm after.

because if you know what i'm made of, and if i were seeking the sky, i WILL get it.

i just hope that one day i will have enough influence to help people and to inspire them.

we'll just have to wait and see how i get there.

today gave me an icky feeling about this superstar thing.

let's just say i'm not new to mediacorp, so i know how they work.

so i'm not too optimistic about things on the superstar front.

though, like i said in one of my previous posts...perhaps i will find my sky somewhere else.

i am my harshest critic. i don't need someone who thinks i am.

but i'm not.


one of my favorite pictures of the day

i'm just...me.

go figure.