EL DIA

as el dia draws nearer with each busy day, i sense the apprehension.

desperate as i am to push it away, it seems to be charging at me like a raging bull. with horns.

it's already mid january.

from now till then, i hope something big happens to make me fear it less.

"be careful what you wish for - you might just get it."

as el dia draws nearer, i'm reminded of how the one thing i truly yearned for has always slipped from my fingers.

nothing that's happened since then has ever come close to the hurt and disappointment of that subject.

how ironic it is that one has tried to make whatever trivialities i've wished for come true.

i know you want for me to be happy.

thank you.

on another vein, it was a sunny day as the HAM and i walked up the steps to my office.

and so he quipped that he doesn't think it'll rain since it's been so wet the last few days and the sun would stay out a little longer now.

of course, i had to go "eh, don't say so soon. sekali later it rains on us how?"

as soon as we stepped into the opening at the second floor, the patter started.

the HAM and i looked at each other, and almost collapsed onto the floor in laughter.

me and my big mouth.

i hate myself and i want to die.

i think i'm gonna enjoy reading prozac nation. =P