TWO SLEEPY PEOPLE

it's been awhile, hasn't it?

i just came back from my cousin's wedding dinner, after an awful morning in church.

thank goodness my cousin knew nothing about the commotion that everyone else seemed to be aware of because of all the shouting.

it's quite funny actually, how he flares up just before the two weddings i got him invited to.

even while talking to my mom...he accused my mom of taking my side and shouted at her...later telling me that my "whole family misintepreted" him and that "everyone else outside my family would see his view".

i wonder who these people are. seriously.

because in my little view of my little world, i can't seem to see how EVERYONE ELSE can see his view.

and if everyone else can, then i'm sure he can find someone who loves him for who he is.

i keep telling him that if he feels like he is putting up with me, then we really shouldn't be together.

and i've often wondered why i can't leave him.

and keep crying. crying. crying.

then this song i heard during the wedding just put a lightbulb into my head - Two Sleepy People.

this one line, in particular, struck me...

"Too much in love to break away."

maybe love is the potion or poison that's keeping me in.

i'm so ready to leave...but somehow, i can't JUST DO IT.

i don't understand.

am i really that much in love?

am i in love with love, or in love with him?