WELCOME TO MY WORLD

there was this one thing that stuck in my mind about last night.

it wasn't the great rueda performance we put up;

wasn't the chemistry between bubba and i;

wasn't the campfire at all.

the one thing that hogs my mind till this very morning is this:

"oh girl...come, give me a hug."

i don't know why, but somehow, this did it for me last night.

those words resonated above the pulsating beats in the club.

the hug was brief, yet comforting.

i suppose it was the "D" word i said in the car that got her a little concerned.

thanks, daphne.

so how hard was it to keep up with a cheerful facade all through last night?

PRETTY DAMN HARD.

imagine phelgm creeping up your oesophagus, threatening your gag reflexes to expel it.

and trying to stifle coughs while you're speaking.

all this while prancing around and screaming out cheers and encouragement.

with a smile plastered on your face.

IT'S PRETTY DAMN HARD.

but it's the one thing i'm really known for in my scouting life - my competency and professionalism.

i'm just feeling sad that i haven't been able to spend as much time with my boys...and i'm feeling terribly upset that my fellow leaders have to take up my share of the work.

my role seems to have shifted somewhat.

my USP has made me such a personality within scouting that i've become more of politician than an actual scout leader.

i fear i'll lose touch with my base, as i become more exposed and take on more non YCS-specific assignments in time.

with even civil service affiliates trying to get me onto committees of sorts, things are looking a lot more complicated now.

on a personal level, I WOULD PROGRESS.

but i'd have to take on such progression before returning fully to scouting.

my progression would be a product of my USP, and it is that very thing that i can sell my scout group with.

i just hope my boys know that i love them still.