COCKTAIL FOR BRAZEN-(NESS?)

exotic dancing.

that's right.

just look at us who've done exotic dancing classes and tell me we aren't more daring.

ashley tells me i've been having a lot of freudent slips in my blogs of late...and figures i must be getting a whole lotta action.

(there goes one again.)

perhaps i have...done loadsa bodywaves, hip rolls, and grinding...ON THE DANCEFLOOR.

with women and men. =)

other forms of activity in the past week include helping a friend out with his photoshoot.

and i looked fat. seriously.

i know i'm slim and probably look just nice for my frame, so don't you go ragging on me with a tirade of "but you're so skinny!!"

brenda, the other girl doing the shoot with me, is absolutely skinny.

i mean...if i can look fat standing next to her...go figure.

that's not to say she's anorexic or anything.

brenda looks fantastic. she's just naturally skinny, small bones and all.

i've been lamenting to people who've asked me how the shoot went that i looked like shit in the pictures, the best picture probably being the one i held this card across my mouth.

i couldn't emote. not like brenda.

well, comparisons aside, i simply couldn't give the photographer anything.

trust me, i tried.

and here's my theory why it didn't work out:

my confidence is at its optimum in the right setting.

and the right setting happens to be in the outdoors, under natural light.

failing that, i would feel stifled and controlled.

how can someone as unbridled as me be placed in a controlled environment without being made to feel like a guinea pig?

that said, it might just be the close proximity of the camera that unsettled me.

those of you who saw the roxie hart act know i CAN tease and be extremely cheeky.

of course, my actions have to be a lot larger than life.

those moves are so unlike me that i'm not afraid to do it in front of a huge audience because everyone knows IT'S NOT ME.

but with a camera just a foot away from my face, i couldn't help but feel absolutely exposed.

nevermind the tube and the shorts (which were the most uncomfy things to wear because they made me even more conscious).

nevermind the blotches of purple forming over the whites of my eyes.

the fact that i was being photographed for ME...it scared me shitless.

and i didn't have the good sense to reject the proposition until it was too late.

right now, i'm just hoping i didn't spoil things for the photographer.

one thing's for sure though: i suck at this!

this guy's probably never gonna wanna photograph me again...haha.

LADY IN RED

now you know i'm not one to gush about things (except for exotic dancing and salsa), but this one dress had me going on and on...


by valentino

the first time i saw this number, i stopped short in front of the display and drooled.

i had wanted to snap pictures of it to see if anyone could tailor-make it for me, but decided against it cuz i didn't wanna look desperate.

several months down the road and it's still sitting pretty in the display, this time, with the word "SALES" running across it, like some sorta sign.

of course, however strong the calling is, there's no way i can afford something like that.

so i can only take pictures of it and dream up means to have it on me.

i'm not certain that i'll look good in it, but looking at how i looked in tube gowns and the color RED, it does seem like a perfect combination for me.

alas!

anyone know of someone who could get this done for me? ;)

PARTY PEOPLE, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT

and party i did...at this little tyke's one-month-old celebratory dinner...


timothy

introducing little timmy, my cousin's second son, brother to benjamin.

just a month ago, he looked like this...


timmy's first day out (of his mom)

how adorable...*gush*

then there's my little jodie...


jodie baby...

...who looks like a cartoon character with her big eyes.


don't poke the bear!

now jodie, benjamin and timmy's grandma - my auntie jean - saw the tattoo at the back of my waist and paraded me around the whole dinner area, showing off the design that went all the way down to my butt crack.

seems like i've always been seen as "the cool one" in the family...

my other cousins would probably elicit a shriek and a stern talking to if they showed off their tattoos.

them getting tattoos would probably be seen as signs of rebellion, instead of being "cool".

how odd it is to have have such double standards, even though it's in my favor.

just one last picture before i end today's sharing...


SIGNS?!

the naked space ola kala left when they packed up and flew off.

doesn't it look like the freaky crop circle from SIGNS?

on a final note:

i never thought i could love dancing.