so i'm back from my aunt's birthday celebrations.

well...it's really still going on because the fellas are just waiting for time to pass so they can send me off at the airport in the wee morning. ;)

i felt tempted to join them for a movie, but decided to come home for some lone time.

all the fatigue seemed to disappear as soon as i washed my face and stepped into my air-conditioned room. i mean, i'm still tired, but i feel like i can stay up for the next few hours just to type this entry. and then leave for the airport.

tonight felt like home. most of the sstt were around...and the night just played out like we never left each other at all.

i'm just a teeny bit apprehensive about the trip.

job-wise, i've already done what i could in this short amount of time to help ashley adapt. and i figure she's doing rather well. she just has to believe in herself more, and not get intimidated by people who speak down to her.

angus says i've come a long way since SQ, and i believe so. that failed interview with a company was proof of how sharp i've become with my words...and even its non-executive director said i was "fiesty". you're damn right i'm fiesty...shithead.

anyways...ashley's more vocal than i am, so i figure she'll definitely make a better journalist than me...in time, that is ;)

ray came by for aunt's birthday. man...that idiot hasn't changed a bit. and they say that the army turns boys into men. his "couldn't-care-less" tone totally irks me...so much that whenever he speaks, i just hear static and wanna cover my ears. to think that i'll be seeing him at the airport later when we both know it's just too damn awkward to be in each other's presence.

the whole week has been a series of awkward happenings, i suppose.

thursday night's shirley valentine. mark waite and i shared two awkward moments. i'm not sure if angus noticed, but it was pretty obvious to me. i believed if i was more the air-kisser, he wouldn't have felt as odd as i thought he did. which brings me to...

sincerity. there are several things that i just can't stand (again):

1) people who speak too loud

2) people who speak too loud and flightily

3) people who speak too loud and flightily and whose eyes wander around

4) people who speak too loud and flightily and whose eyes wander around when talking TO YOU

when people speak too loud and try to pass it off as a normal facet of their speech, i think "they don't know shit". especially when their eyes start to wander. unless, of course, they're autistic or schizo or whatever other mental illness they possess.

and because i sense these things the moment i meet a person, hardly anyone intimidates me anymore. ;)

and i shall stop right here before i dig myself a deeper shithole.

"i'm in a new york state of mind" - billy joel