YOU DON'T KNOW ME

i had a strong urge to put my hand on someone's shoulder tonight.

i did it, gave it a slight squeeze and told her to take care.

and i don't really know her.

there were a few reasons i couldn't stay...

1) training left me pretty exhausted and i could hardly muster up another word before collapsing.

2) i couldn't stand being around people who know me.

so i said bye to the crowd and walked away.

and as i did, the band was playing tanya chua's "wu di dong", literally translated into "bottomless pit".

hopped onto 196 and zipped home.

*blood still needs to be let*

i feel so much pain within me but i don't see it.

in the usual cases of blood-letting, people cut themselves. at least they can see the pain materializing in the form of blood.

so short of cutting myself as catharsis, i guess i can only walk it out and cry as i go along.

do not confuse blood-letting with ridding yourself of stress.

pain and stress are quite distinctly different.

pain you can hide quite easily.

you can feel perpetually depressed and not exhibit a sign of it.

stress you can't hide.

it shows on your person - the way you speak, your face...especially your eyes.

i need a form of blood-letting.

writing doesn't seem to be doing the trick.