MOM'S THE WORD

i just had a rather resigned conversation with the mother over the phone.

as i spoke, i teared and now i've launched into full-blown sobs.

she reminded me it's just one day and after that, all will be over and we can get on with our lives.

she reminded me that i have to compromise to make everyone else happy.

I KNOW ALL THESE THINGS!

AND I'M ALREADY THROWING IN THE TOWEL.

BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE EXPECTED TO GIVE IN?

WHY IS THERE SUCH AN EXPECTATION PLACED ON ME?

i love him so much, but i feel as each day goes by, i'm losing more of me.

i cannot defy convention now because i cannot bear for him to go through what i'm experiencing now.

the wedding. the living.

that's two of the biggest things i might ever be giving up.

fucking patriachy.