HEY MAMA!

the mother made an uncharacteristically witty comment sunday night.

my naughty little cousin had taken my brothers hand and folded all his fingers downward 'cept for the middle one.

she pointed it at my mom and said...

"he point middle finger at you, you not angry ah?"

at which my mom (who looked pretty bored) replied...

"it's okay. he's pointing the rest of his fingers at himself!"

i was the only one who caught it and burst out laughing...even my mom didn't know she made a really dry joke.

the aunt and cousins from the states are heading back home this evening.

sigh...wish i had double the time i had now so i could've at least spent a dinner with them.

SAVE ME

uhhuh.

that's the song that's been playing on the cell since friday's meet-and-greet session at the library@esplanade.

that hour or so held a revelation for me, something that angus had pointed out months ago.

"you could've written little superhero girl."

of course, he means it like i was exactly what the song was about.

corrinne may is close to my heart because i can relate to her music.

it was only last friday that i realized i could relate to her as well.

1) how she met david foster.

she said she and a friend, zack, went to an upclose-and-personal session with the guy. after he finished his introduction, he invited people to go up on stage to play their music. zack went while she hesitated. in the end, she was like "oh what the heck, how often do i get to play for david foster?!" and went ahead to play Same Side of The Moon. at the end of the song, david foster sat down and replayed that very song! she was exhilarated.

i've been in many situations like that...where i'm often confronted with a "to do or not to do". most times, i just throw away reason for that moment to take the first step. once i'm on stage, i panic but am forced to go through with whatever i'm up there for because it'd be a horrid waste of opportunity to step down.

if i had never taken that first step, no one would've known me, or how good i could be.

(it's not an ego statement, btw.)

2) origins of Fly Away.

she said it was one of the songs that came out of her most difficult time in the states. it was about her parents loving her too much to keep her from pursuing her dreams.

my parents have always tried their best to make mine come true. unfortunately, it was not meant to be...but that doesn't mean they didn't try.

our parents love us so much to want us to fulfill our dreams. the only difference here is...she managed to. i haven't.

in this sense, perhaps life holds a different path for me.

and perhaps, as much as i yearn to pursue academia, something much bigger lies in store...just waiting for me to wake up and smell it.

i need to get over the fact that i'm never gonna get my PhD before 30.

i've stopped stumbling.